2000
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General News
Night successfully reclaimed: Feminists to reclaim mid-afternoon
[Edition 30] SYDNEY, Thursday: In response to an action brought by several traditional feminist groups, the High Court yesterday declared the Night to have been formally reclaimed.
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National Archive
Shock discovery: Australian Democrats revealed as student hoax
[Edition 30] On Foundation Day at Adelaide University in 1977, a secretive group of students hatched a plan to play the greatest prank in the history of Australian politics. Today, all was revealed in a packed press conference when after more than 20 years in hiding, Jason Ho, Anne Eastlight and Michael Riley finally explained…
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General News Archive
NASDAQ rallies on report of guy who might buy something over Internet sometime
[Edition 30] The NASDAQ rallied today after firm reports that somebody had mentioned that they may one day purchase something over the internet. The unidentified man in his late 20s apparently sounded ‘pretty certain’ that he’d buy things over the Internet at some point. The man was overheard on the subway by an internet analyst…
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Sport
Paralympics inspires ordinary Australians to acquire disabilities
[Edition 30] SYDNEY, Thursday: Just as the Olympic Games inspired many Sydneysiders to join gyms in an effort to emulate the toned physiques of their heroes, hospital emergency rooms across the city are reporting a sharp increase in business as Sydneysiders rush out and make themselves eligible to compete in future Paralympic Games.
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General News
Hackers infect Microsoft computers with mysterious Windows virus
[Edition 30] SEATTLE, Thursday: Shame-faced workers at Microsoft admitted today that hackers had succeeded in penetrating their network’s defences and had installed a sophisticated virus on the Apple Macintosh machines used across the software giant’s operations.
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Entertainment Archive
Liz Hurley rebukes Actors’ Guild: “I’m no actor!”
[Edition 30] LOS ANGELES, Friday: Liz Hurley has responded angrily to claims by actors that she crossed a picket line by filming an Estee Lauder ad. The Screen Actors’ Guild is protesting against the low wages given to actors in commercials.
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General News
Chess Seeks Youth Market: “Xtreme Chequerboarding” launched
[Edition 29] Several years ago, the look-out was grim. Falling attendance at tournaments, dropping sales of chess-sets and reports of school chess clubs closing across the world pointed to an eventual decline and, perhaps, an end to chess as we know it. All this has turned around 180 degrees with the appointment in 1999 of…
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National Archive
Beazley says Defence Bill ‘Really useful in quelling incredibly violent Olympics’
[Edition 29] CANBERRA, Wednesday: The Opposition leader Mr Kim Beazley has expressed his enormous relief at Labor’s role in rushing through the Defence Legislation Amendment Act just days before the Olympics. Mr Beazley claimed that the bill, which allows troops to fire on civilians in certain disputes, was “the only thing that saved us from…
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National Archive
A few more years of civilised brutality will advantage Aborigines: Ruddock
[Edition 29] CANBERRA, Tuesday: The Minister for Reconciliation Philip Ruddock has defended his comments to French newspaper Le Monde claiming that Aborigines were disadvantaged because they were late in coming into contact with developed civilisations. “Aborigines have had just over 200 years of contact with real civilisation,” Ruddock claimed. “They are yet to fully know…
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World
World leaders agree on new key principles to ignore
[Edition 28] NEW YORK, Monday: Last-minute drinks at the UN Millennium conference have led to the inclusion of several new hollow catch phrases in the conference declaration. The document entitled the UN Millennium Declaration sets down the new principles which nation states will pay lip service to in the new millennium. “It is important that…