Saddam alive: found in cupboard of Rockhampton boyfriend

Saddam: “I should go to jail…but I don’t want to”

[Edition 73] BRISBANE, Thursday: The recently deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, widely believed to have been dead, has turned up alive in the house of a Rockhampton man in north-east Australia.

Police found the former tyrant crouching inside a cupboard during a dawn raid on the Rockhampton house yesterday. It’s understood Saddam has been living with the man, believed to be his boyfriend, ever his disappearance several weeks ago.

The bizarre discovery has thrown into chaos claims made by US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who had previously confessed to successfully murdering the Iraqi despot.

Saddam spent most of yesterday afternoon with his mother, in what police described as an “emotional and difficult reunion.” The dictator’s mother, who amazingly lives only five blocks away from where Saddam was found, said she hasn’t yet forgiven her son for letting her think he was dead all this time.

Police wish to question the disgraced tyrant tomorrow, and may yet charge him with causing public mischief. Intense media interest in the story has already seen a fierce bidding war develop between Channel 9′s Sixty Minutes and Al-Jazeera, the latter of which has had to pull out after Coalition forces once again “accidentally” bombed it.