Here at The Chaser, we’ve been flooded with calls all morning from Presidents, Prime Ministers, CEOs, Heads of Ethics Committees for Sporting bodies and their “friends” worried about the outrageous levels of transparency and accountability that the leaks from Mossack Fonseca & Co might spur.

Our response has been one of enormous empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of the 800 Australians embroiled in this scandal. Because of the Panama Papers leaks, there is a real danger that tax laws will start to be something ordinary, everyday millionaires have to pay attention to.

That is why The Chaser has set up ChaserBank – a one stop shop for those people who are in a hurry to offload their offshore assets with minimum fuss and maximum secrecy. It is for those people who are so panicked by the scale of this leak that they are finding hard to think straight.

To those people, we’re offering a very simple service that is guaranteed to place your assets out of the reach of anyone — even you.

Simply fill go to the ChaserBank website and fill out the form, describing the exact details of your accounts, and any passwords associated with those accounts, and we’ll transfer them into our name.

That way, when pesky journalists or tax authorities come calling, you can put your hand on your heart and honestly say that the leaked emails are deeply inaccurate and you do not own any offshore assets. And best of all, this service is 100% free.