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Archive for 2017

Disneyland launches new apocalyptic thrill ride
This ride will give you nightmares
BREAKING: Sam Dastyari “我辞职”
The following is the full statement from Sam Dastyari, following his resignation from parliament this morning: 我在此立即从澳大利亚议会辞职。在过去的两个星期里,我被指责有分裂的忠诚,但没有什么比事实更远的了。我一直把新南威尔士州的筹款活动放在优先位置上,我与中国人的亲密关系仅仅反映了我对“百胜餐饮”和六位数捐赠的热爱。我希望能够通过“天空新闻”的脱口秀节目,或者更可能的是央视,为能够继续为公众生活做出贡献的方法。 Statement translated into English:
Abbott spotted stealing pens from Governor’s House in last ditch bid to stop gay marriage
"There are two sides to this burglary"
Jubilation as parliament fails to deal with people being torn to pieces by crocodiles every three months in north Queensland
"We ain't spending another minute on it"
Amazon finally arrives in Australia after being lost in post for months
"We probably shouldn't have partnered with Australia post"
Banks appoint Turnbull as lead counsel for Royal Commission: “It’s good to have one of our own”
The Big Four banks have rushed to appoint a lead counsel to represent them in the Royal Commission into the
BREAKING: Dastyari releases full statement “對不起”
Following his sacking as Deputy Whip for the Labor Party, here is the full transcript that Senator Sam Dastyari released moments
Royal wedding hysteria reassures conservatives Australia not as progressive as feared
"Ah a reductive icon of our colonial past marrying, everything is normal again."
Fears for Australians trapped in Bali as Bintang supplies run low
"They may soon be forced to drink tap water"
Experts Fear New North Korean Nuclear Missile May Not Reach White House
"World prays for slightly longer range missiles"