We're a land of timid victims too scared to do anything except maybe benignly wag our finger at others' outrageous behaviour.  We've become a nation state of namby pamby whiners, bitching whinging whimperers.  

Getting the picture?  No?  Well we've now a people of moaning martyrs, suffering suckers, injured parties and pouting plaintiffs.  We need to toughen up.  Get back our ticker.  Our larrikin ‘diggerness'. 

We could learn a lot from the Palestinians and Israelis – when they've got the shits, they damn well let people know about it.  

But in Australia when we don't like something we just grumble into our beers. We don't do anything about it. 

For example, those Nigerian scam emails that purport to want to transfer thousands to your bank account.   

Imagine if everyone, instead of whining, took a few moments to reply.  They'd never be able to keep up with demand.  Imagine if you just kept politely writing back to them again and again and again, constantly wanting more detail – and then when they pick up on your scam – you simply change email addresses.  We'd not only have the pleasure of spamming them back, but we'd also put them out of business. 

But there's no point us all going on a big uncoordinated attack.  Of us all shooting our anger in different directions.  So let's start with one mutual foe – telemarketers. 

You know the people who ring on a precious RDO at 10.30am either waking you up or distracting you from ‘entertaining' the barmaid from the local pub who finally agreed to come home with you last night.  The people who have you bounding towards the phone thinking you're loved, you're important, that someone out there wants to talk to you!   

Only to find yourself met with a person reading off a script in broken English with the unmistakable battery chicken backing track of a massive call centre. 

So as a society was has our response to this vile phenomenon been?  Either to a) hang up in disgust, or b) to begin a meek campaign to have the right to register our phone numbers on a ‘don't call' list. 

What a bunch of wusses.  Wake up Australia, no-one respects weakness! 

So let's bring these companies down.  How do we do it? 

Well, we need to cause them as much expense as possible by calling them, by asking them to post us details of their wares and anything else we can think of to hit their bottom line. 

So the other day, when I was in the middle of some work, I got a call from India from some ‘time-share' accommodation peddlers. 

Now, with my newfound backbone, instead of politely declining (being passive), I enthusiastically said I'd love to come to one of the offered tutorials on their products.  (They have lectures in all capital cities) 

I told them that I'd love nothing better than for them to mail me some more information – I declined the offer on an email, that costs them nothing. 

Then I failed to show up at the tutorial. When they called to find out why I wasn't there I apologised for my non-attendance and say yes I'd love to re-book.  And by the way can they send over another information pack, as I seem to have mislaid mine? 

And I keep doing it. And keep doing it. And keep doing it. 

The workers are happy because in the meantime you're keeping them in a job – and eventually the losers who dare to intrude into your home to get at your money are out of pocket.   

What to join the crusade?  Want to go on the attack?  Well, take a few moments (of your bosses time) to call this particular bunch of jokers. They're called Trendwest - give them a call at their expense today on 1800 899 799. 

The great thing is, you can get your attention-starved grandparents in on the joke as well. They can be merrily ringing and hassling these people, eventually developing quite a good relationship, and know they are helping their fellow Australians through this important campaign.  Everybody wins. 

That will do for starters.  And if anyone gets a call from another group, whack their number on the comment section of this blog.  Oh what fun.  Imagine the possibilities of our new attacking mentality.  This week Telemarketing, tomorrow used car salesmen, next week Richard Wilkins. 

timbrunero.com