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Europe's forthcoming Greatest Hits album tipped to include 'The Final Countdown'
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The Prime Minister has defended proposed shoot-to-kill laws, saying that in the heightened security environment the shoot-to-kill policy would only be used in situations where police freak out. “The world changed on September 11,” Howard said. “Before then I would have needed a good reason to pass draconian legislation like this.”Mr Howard said that the laws are essential for making Australia safer. “The power to kill civilians is vital in the fight against those who threaten civilian safety,” he said. 
Their business hurting after a wave of bomb attacks and drug arrests, Garuda airlines are offering heavily discounted ‘Adventure Tour’ packages to Bali. Tourists will be tempted with free one-way tickets and one-and-a-half nights’ accomodation at participating hotels and hospitals. Local gaols are promising even longer low-cost stays. 
The show trial of Saddam Hussein has begun in Bahgdad. The Special Tribunal began its hearing two weeks early because judges feared there would not be time to get through all the evidence before Saddam’s execution on 18 December this year. Charged with the murder and torture of 148 Shiites in Dujail in 1982, Saddam pleaded “not guilty”, after agreeing that calling himself “innocent” was a bit of a stretch. Saddam's lawyers say the former dictator’s defence will be that he was just issuing orders.
Australia has secured the most comprehensive win in Test cricket history, defeating both the World XI and the whole idea of a Rest of the World team in under four days. The World XI was defeated by 210 runs, after scoring only 144 in their second innings and even less in terms of credibility. The series closed with an Australian declaration: Australian ICC chief Malcolm Speed declaring that there would not be another Super Series for many years to come.
Spurred on by his viewing of pre-dawn television, 41 year-old printer salesman Andrew Smithers has found God. Smithers says that the conversion process began at 12.00am Wednesday with the Channel Ten chat show Face to Face. “At first I thought it was just an informative discussion of world events conducted by people I could relate to,” says Smithers. “But I soon realized there was more to it. They kept talking about a very special man with an important message for us all, and that man wasn’t Anthony Robbins.”
Contestants on would-be-royalty reality show Australian Princess have expressed concerns about having to give birth in a newly added segment on the show, after Princess Mary gave birth this week. The new round will see contestants forced to give birth while a sneering Paul Burrell looks on, ridiculing their childbearing technique and posture. In line with royal custom, if any of the children are considered valuable, Burrell will then steal and try to hock them. 
Exit polls from Saturday's referendum on Iraq's constitution indicate that Sunni, Shi'ite and Kurdish groups agree only on their right to bear arms against members of the other two groups. The right to bear arms was considered a far more important right than free elections, free speech or the right to life, which in Iraq is considered practically worthless.
Fast food giant KFC has reassured customers that even in the event of total contamination of the world’s chicken stocks by bird flu, its menu will remain safe. “Bird flu should be of no concern to anyone consuming KFC products” a spokesperson said. “Unless, of course, it can be spread to rabbits.”
Still reeling from the terrible impact of Hurricane Katrina on their city, New Orleans residents are seeking solace in the chaos of earthquake-ravaged Pakistan. Travel agencies have reported scores of Southerners heading to the afflicted Kashmiri region, looking for adventure and poorly secured electronic goods.
