When Special Agent Olivia Martinez started a sting operation to catch online sex predator Karl Bute Jnr, she thought it would be a routine assignment. She never suspected that the man she was entrapping would end up entrapping her heart.

(UPDATED with unintentionally hilarious new video clip!) Now that we've back in primetime, we're determined to become totally impossible prima donnas. So we demanded that the ABC get us LOTS OF BILLBOARDS to promote the show. Eddie McGuire gets them. Viagra gets them. So we want ‘em. Big ones. Typically the ABC cried poor. But we insisted. So they got us the cheapest billboards they could find.

In what has been seen by many as a cathartic move for the troubled nation of Iraq, Saddam Hussein has been sentenced to death for ordering the killing of 148 Shi'ites in 1982. After much deliberation, the judge decided the most cost-effective means of execution was simply to drop the former dictator from a low-flying plane, onto the streets of Baghdad. "Saddam will be dressed in a US army uniform, armed with a blunt machete and jettisoned in an escape pod," explained Judge Arif Shaheen. "Insurgents will take care of the rest."

Peaking demand for commodities, investor jitters and competition with Japan have all been blamed for the recent Shanghai stock market crash, but now fingers are being pointed at a more familiar culprit - Microsoft software. Expecting a standard operating system, traders panicked when confronted with a series of ethereal, floating squares, a design one described as "even more wanky than a Mac, with none of the functionality."

Perth's leading Panama hat salesman has resigned after admitting business dealings with his one and only customer, former Western Australian Premier Brian Burke. "In this line of work, all my business dealings are supposed to be shady," he said. "But when Mr Burke brought Kevin Rudd into the shop to try on some hats, I knew I was fatally compromised."