The Chaser

meh not that funny

Excellently hilarious article!

Environmentally friendly idea too. If everyone stopped ironing, the world's CO² output would probably drop by 0.03%!

CO₂ [/pedant]

I read that book "Superwoman", and it had a chapter on ironing.

The entire chapter was just one word: DON'T!

I prefer my oxygen squared  8-)

Fuck Ironing.  I pissed it off several years ago.

When my bosses whinged, I  told them that If they wanted me to live up to their corporate standards, I'm overwhelmingly willing to iron my clothes before wearing them to work,  providing they pay for the clothes I wear during business hours, and I do my ironing on the time they actually pay me for!
I'm especially willing to do so if they pay me over-time to do it out of hours.

They went so far as to buy us uniforms - except I can't wear 100% nylon, unless they only want me to work 1 week in six, as that's about how long it takes me to recover from the full-body rash caused by wearing 2 * 100% el-cheapo nylon t-shirts for for a week.
(which is what they provided, along with 100% nylon Jackets)

Until then, they can either pay for someone to do my washing and ironing at MY convenience, or by mutually acceptable means.

Or they can just accept the fact that a bloke who crawls around dust and mouse-shit covered  equipment (and that's some of the nicer stuff), whilst fixing *equipment/user* problems in ultra urgent situations, does not actually need to wear a suit and tie or uniform!
Especially if he's simultaneously saving them (and you) $40,000+ per hour, for each hour of down time!

And if thats what they want, they are more than welcome to pay me out & hire a fucking model!

*The rest has been edited to cover my own arse - don't ask!, just don't ask!*  :wink:

I hope you're feeling better now, Hammer.

When I departed from the public service I only got a $20,000 payout, but I didn't care. I was just SO happy to be out of that fucking place.

Well, I'm somewhat emptier, but still far too sober!

Yet another shitty day in the pubic service has passed, and I have to go back to hell tomorrow, Dammit!.

Thursday's numers anyone -please?

Oh! BTW! Nice article! I like! You may not have noticed, but you pushed one of my buttons, which is what a good article should do, even if it's just the funny-ha-ha button.

Just don't start me on wearing ties, or I'll post the multi-page letter I sent my bosses, defining why I should not wear one. Ever! And haven't since  :-D

I don't care if it's not funny... it's a new articul and that's always a good thing. They could be in a language I don't understand, and I'd still be happy. I'm determined, damn it!

I really hate relentlessly optimistic, positive people who love everything!  People like you, BB.  :wink:

bb doesn't like biscuits. Check the Whaling thread (I think it was that one)  :cry:

I'm not positive about everything, I'm just desperate to read more chaser stuff. I'm deprived :(

Hammer - PM me your anti-tie manifesto. I might be able to use it one of these days ;)

I can't stand ironing. Especially when I know I'm about be around people who *notice* those sorts of things.

Bloody ironing pedants...  :-(

That ad for ABC Classic FM which tries to make you think that ironing to classical music is some kind of wonderful experience is clearly eight kinds of bullshit.

So... when should we expect the next installment of ''tales straight from the life of Shane Cubis'?   :-P  :-D

I too would like a copy of Hammer's Manifesto.

I doubt this article was actually written by one of the chaser guys

I do too, I didn't think it was... by "chaser" I ment, the writers not the onscreen guys

_{The 60 second rule is going to die at my hands!}

So, I take you guys believe The Chaser is just the few guys who appear on screen?

 :lol:

Uh, no, clearly not. I said the writers not the onscrean guys.

Why does no-one listen to me!?  :cry:

_{Mother fucker... makes me wait 60 seconds.}

Aliens have hacked the site!!!!!  :-o  :-o  :-o

Actually I thought it was only Andrew Hansen

*congas through thread*

*congas through thread*

*Congas through thread. *

*repeats someone elses lame joke in typical chaser forum fashion*

The whole point was to copy them.  :-P

Here, for your reading pleasure is my anti-tie rant, that I sent to the Female General manger of the organisation I work for.

I hope this helps anyone else in this position.
Anything that may identify my employer has been removed, or re-phrased.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear General Manager,

The stated duties in my current position are;

- Participate in the conduct and development of technical training programs and training manuals for XXXX staff and clients.

- Liaise with management on analysis, development and maintenance of XXXX specific software applications.

- Assist with analysis, development and delivery of XXXX product utilising software applications and multi-media technologies.

- Investigate and correct equipment failure in computer, audio, video, television, computer, and related technology on an on-call basis.

- Develop, implement and monitor technical procedures for equipment maintenance and testing schedules

- Liaise with management, staff and external bodies on equipment and software purchase, maintenance, selection and/or modification and ensure compliance with XXXX guidelines in relation to purchasing and asset management.

- Develop, implement and monitor safe workshop practices.

The requirement to wear a suit and tie was not included anywhere on the duty statement for my current position. As XXXX does not supply a corporate uniform, the only requirement that I know of is that I wear neat casual clothing (ie: slacks & shirt with a collar)

I normally wear a suit to work as a compromise to the desires of XXXX management for staff to present a ‘corporate image’, even though I do not consider suits to be practical for the work I do.
As a Technician this quite often involves crawling around on XXXX floors, behind dust covered equipment racks and the like to resolve A/V faults. I have already damaged several suits to the point of no longer being able to wear them to work whilst in this position. I have since resorted to buying suits from the op-shop in order to minimise costs to myself.

Over the past year, I have been excluded from many activities which are listed on my duty statement, indeed many of them have been included on other people’s job descriptions, seemingly as a result of my refusal to wear a tie.

My reasons for not wearing a tie whilst performing my duties are –

- XXXX has had a female training officer present courses to XXXX staff in the past, and to the best of my knowledge she did not wear a tie, nor was tie wearing was an issue.
   
- XXXX also has female XXXX staff working closely with XXXX clients every day, and they are not required to wear ties.

- I have worked in nearly every site of XXXX across the state of Victoria, and as far as I have been able to acertain, no female staff throughout the XXXXX is required to wear ties.
   
-Three of the senior managers in XXXX are female, I have never seen them wear ties, even though they represent XXXX at meetings with overseas, interstate, departmental and XXXXX clients and/or interested parties.

-In the light of this, I believe the any requirement by managers for men to wear ties must be considered to be a form of sex discrimination, which runs contrary to the XXXXXXX stated position as an equal opportunity employer.

- In the course of my duties, I work mainly on Audio Visual equipment, often working behind equipment racks and under tables, and am sometimes required to work on equipment with moving gears inside. I believe a tie is a safety hazard in these situations. If the tie got caught in gears, the potential exists to drag me face-first into the equipment.

- I am usually trying to resolve problems in great haste when working behind equipment racks or under tables and a tie can catch on things. As a tie is basically little more than a cloth noose, this could cause strangulation (however temporarily). I don’t believe self administered capital punishment is a requirement of my (or any) position.

- I sometimes repair equipment with static-sensitive chips inside. given my current rate of pay, I would only ever be able to afford cheap nylon ties, which readily conduct static electricity. If was wearing such a tie while working on such equipment, and it fell across one the terminals of one of these chips, there is the potential to cause further damage to the equipment I am trying to repair, therefore increasing the cost of repair to XXXX.

- I find ties extremely uncomfortable to wear. As I have been involved in singing since early high school, I believe my neck may be thicker than the average person’s as a result of this, and other work I have done in the past, though I have never had need to check. I'm never able do up the top button of any shirt I wear, and any time I have tried it has led to discomforts such as headaches, breathing difficulties, and a feeling of constriction on my part.

- I do not understand what a tie is for! I do not wear earrings, bracelets, chains, rings on my fingers or any form of jewellery as I consider most forms of jewellry to be a safety hazard in the sort of work I do, and adornments such as these things do not interest me.

If it is ruled that I am required to wear a tie, I ask that XXXX should bear the cost of such ties, and also the cost of replacing my business shirts with shirts of a suitable neck size.


Yours Sincerely

One very pissed off employee (actually, I just signed my name)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For some reason, the general manager never replied  :lol:

But I can ALWAYS tell when new senior management have been reading personnell files, they always make some oblique tie reference.

Ahh, that's great (and insane...and funny). I realised I didn't own any ties recently, and I had to buy one for a wedding. I got a bright red one with a black skull & crossbones on it from Faster Pussycat in Newtown. As soon as I got to the church, my mate said, "You realise this is a wedding, not a funeral, don't you?"

Must be a great company to work for hammer, do you get free beer?  :wink:

 :lol: :lol:  Great letter, Hammer.

"- I find ties extremely uncomfortable to wear. As I have been involved in singing since early high school, I believe my neck may be thicker than the average person’s as a result of this, and other work I have done in the past, though I have never had need to check."

That's the most brilliant excuse for a thick neck I've ever heard!  :lol: :lol:

Good work, Hammer! I went to and now work at (last time I checked) the only private school in Adelaide where the girls don't have to wear some form of tie. We wore our top buttons undone and felt all the more liberated for it - I have never understood the point of ties myself. Keep up the fight!

No, we even have to kick in to the kitty for the Xmas party & They never buy enough.

But the pub crawl that happens after gets interesting.
Last year, the current GM ended up in a full on shouting match with a 7ft tall ex-afl footballer who was working as a barman for the night at the Celtic club :lol: :lol:
Ahhh, those Irish!

Who checks their neck? I mean really...... :-D

But it's true! That & the year I spent throwing around 30-50kg rolls of cloth as a storeman! 
And the years I spent riding motorbikes  - the extra weight of the helmet excercises your neck muscles - think about it, you know I'm right!

I was actually built like a brick shithouse back then,  now I'm more out-house shaped  :lol: