Much noise has been made about the AFL's plans to launch new clubs on the Gold Coast and Western Sydney, with it looking increasingly likely that the two new teams will be playing within just three or four years.

Little has been heard until now about a third new team designed to take the AFL by storm.

The Thugs as they are unofficially named will comprise of drug addicts, associates of underworld figures, drink drivers, players that sleep with teammate’s girl friends or wives, players who urinate in public places and players with a propensity for violence.

The new team is expected to enlist top players including Cousins, Kerr, Gardiner, Didac, Hall and Fevola to name a few.

The headquarters is expected to be based in the state of criminality, that being Victoria.  The specific location is touted to be one of the bikie gang’s hideouts.   This is still under intense negotiations between the various gangs with the last set of negotiations reaching a stalemate after a Gypsie Joker negotiator was decapitated and left to bleed while being hung upside down.

The new team will be excluded from the salary cap and tax office contributions with all salaries being laundered and paid to players indirectly through Swiss bank accounts.

The new training regime will measure players on how well they can out run police in the attempt to create the fastest and most agile team in the competition.   Player stats and performance will be measured against disposal of drugs rather than the ball.

Players will also be able to increase their earnings by participating in stand over tactics, drug dealing, car bombings and other organised criminal activities specified by their major sponsors.  One of the major sponsors is likely to include one of the 4 major banks.

It is rumoured the team colours will be black with a white skull as their emblem.

Demetriou was unavailable for comment on the new club as his feet were setting in concrete boots and mouth was gagged with masking tape.

Would this relegate the Fremantle Dockers?