|
Tuesday, 14 December 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] "I think it was Khirovohrad Tower Burger that did me in", Ukrainian Opposition Leader Viktor Yushchenko said. "Who'd have guessed one of the eleven secret herbs and spices would be dioxin?" |
|
|
Monday, 06 December 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] The board of Telstra has found that the services of CEO Ziggy Switkowski were not up to scratch in the lead-up to its forthcoming full sale. "Ziggy's reception has been terrible for years, and we've come to realise it will never improve," Telstra chairman Donald McGauchie said. |
|
|
Thursday, 02 December 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] "I've been trying to convince my colleagues that I'm a new man with new ideas ever since the defeat," Latham said. "But still I somehow find myself trotting out the same old election phrases 30, 40, 50 times a day," he said. |
|
|
Wednesday, 01 December 2004 |
[Edition 89] "Tibetan children are being denied their culture, history and even their language", said General Representative Warren Garreo. "As a second year performance studies student, I cannot let this stand."
|
|
|
Monday, 15 November 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] Critics charge that Frederick's self-interrogations were ineffective, yielding only low-quality intelligence about Tyra Bank and Frederick's high school geography teacher. |
|
|
Friday, 12 November 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] Local Tidy Town campaigners agree Fallujah's bid may now be in trouble. "There's not much of the town left, actually," said one resident. "And what there is – well, it's not exactly tidy." |
|
|
Wednesday, 10 November 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] In years past, judges have been able to divide awards between two or three box office failures; but this year Somersault was the only flop in serious contention. |
|
|
Saturday, 06 November 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] In the first major press conference since his re-election, Bush said that the decisive victory gave him a mandate to push ahead with tax cuts, fix Iraq and implement a socially conservative agenda. "Whereas last term I went ahead and did those things without a mandate," he said. |
|
|
Friday, 05 November 2004 |
[Edition 89] "Now that the election is over, Bruce and I don't have politics to constrain us," the Senator said. "It'll just be the two of us on stage together, riffing."
|
|
|
Friday, 29 October 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] The terrorists who have embarrassed the US Government by stealing 380 tons of high-impact explosive from a weapons dump in Iraq have vowed to return it to US military as soon as possible, in gradual, fissible amounts. |
|
|
Thursday, 28 October 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] Labor's post-election blues showed no sign of alleviating this week. After seven Labor frontbenchers resigned their positions ahead of a Shadow Cabinet reshuffle, Labor suffered the additional blow of Simon Crean not becoming the eighth. |
|
|
Wednesday, 27 October 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] The failure of jobseeker Joseph Adams to gain employment was tempered earlier this week, as the HR department of Dick Smith Electronics wrote him a heartfelt, encouraging letter. |
|
|
Friday, 08 October 2004 |
[Edition 89] Nalliah points to the party's preference deal with gay Democrats Senator Brian Greig as evidence that the party has a modern attitude to gays. "Even though he is morally degenerate filth, we were willing to deal with him on a matter of political expediency."
|
|
|
Monday, 04 October 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] According to Moir, it was the idea of Latham's belly being a hill that probably confused things. "It was an idea I cooked up when Beazley was still leader, and it didn't translate as well as I'd expected. I probably should have scrapped Latham and just drawn a hill marked 'credibility'." |
|
|
Friday, 01 October 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] The condescension began in the opening moments of the historical segment, with White's kindergarten teacher-like voiceover. "They honoured me with a smoking ceremony, welcoming me to their land", she said, over an image of an elder burning some gum leaves at her feet. |
|
|
Tuesday, 28 September 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] "After all this years in politics, retirement is certainly an attractive option," he said. "In fact now that I've ruled out a leadership challenge in the next three years, Howard retiring is pretty much the only option." |
|
|
Tuesday, 21 September 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] Foreign Minister Alexander Downer has responded to the possible seizure of Australian hostages by Islamic terrorists by sending hostage negotiators to Baghdad to carry out the government's policy of not negotiating with terrorists. |
|
|
Tuesday, 21 September 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] "I was flicking channels, and for some reason – fate, I guess – I stopped on SBS. I saw a cool-looking Arab guy on a horse with a rifle, and thought "Jackpot!" the pulp novelist said |
|
|
Saturday, 18 September 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] After earlier stating she would not re-enter politics, Pauline Hanson has chosen to run as an independent for the 2004 Senate race. "After I petitioned myself with 500 bogus signatures, I felt I had no choice," the former MP said. |
|
|
Friday, 17 September 2004 |
|
[Edition 89] A visit to the Wollongong methadone clinic has left second year Arts student Andy McNamara bitterly disappointed. The lifelong fan of William S. Burroughs went to the clinic expecting a hotbed of artistic experimentation and cultural revolt. |
|
