|
|
General
|
Friday, 07 July 2000 |
[Edition 24] LONDON, Wednesday: A top ranking scientist has admitted to The Chaser that most of the work done to date on the $US3 billion Human Genome Project (HGP) has actually just been made up.
Since 1993 the HGP has been running ahead of schedule. "That's no coincidence. It was back in 1993 that we first realised what we could do. I still remember it clearly: it was a Friday afternoon, and we thought "look, they're only 50 trillionths of an inch wide: no one's going to notice one or two incorrectly coded base pairs here or there." |
|
|
Thursday, 06 July 2000 |
[Edition 24] CANBERRA, Thursday: Seasoned front-benchers and political greenhorns alike were joined in stunned surprise today, as a sudden Cabinet reshuffle radically altered the shape of the Federal Government.
The reshuffle, blamed on a suspected computer security breach at the Federal Parliament's IT facility at Belconnen, has resulted in a radical change in the balance of power in the Federal Cabinet, with key portfolios being moved, Ministries being amalgamated or created, and the Prime Minister reluctant to re-order the new appointments until there had been a "full inquiry" into the affair.
Newly appointed Minister for YoU BLOW GOATS, and former Minister for Youth Affairs, Mr David Kemp, has been amongst the most trenchant critics of the proposed new front bench. |
|
|
Monday, 19 June 2000 |
[Edition 23] CAPE CANAVERAL, Tuesday: NASA has hit back at critics who claim that its multi-billion dollar space program produces minimal returns for ordinary taxpayers with the release of the new Zero Gravity Home Herb Growing Kit™.
NASA estimates individual consumers would have had to invest approximately $US120 billion to undertake similar experiments themselves. The prohibitive cost means most consumers are unable to grow herbs without the effects of gravity. |
|
|
Sunday, 18 June 2000 |
[Edition 23] SYDNEY, Tuesday: Changing dietary expectations have started to effect the literary world with the Little Brown Books releasing a new edition of the JD Salinger's classic Catcher in the Rye, entitled Catcher in the White Bread.
The new book is proving very popular with students while most parents continued to purchase the old edition or a compromise edition entitled Catcher in the Wonder White.
|
|
|
Sunday, 04 June 2000 |
|
[Edition 22] Mr Palmer, a thrilled new franchisee, says that the yellow and red went well with the logo he decided to have for his new restaurant. "For some reason I had always imagined using a big yellow M, kind of like golden arches, for my McDonalds store |
|
|
Tuesday, 23 May 2000 |
|
[Edition 21] A 16-year-old French model has been told she may never work again, after smiling on the catwalk during a fashion parade in Sydney last week. Lucinda Dior smiled at least three times during a runway show at Australian Fashion Week. Her cheerfulness has enraged fashion purists, who have accused the model of making fashion less pretentious. |
|
|
Monday, 22 May 2000 |
[Edition 21] MELBOURNE, Sunday: A father's attempt to relate to his teenage son has failed dismally following an embarrassing use of the word 'rad'.
"I thought that I had mastered the teenage lexicon," said disappointed father Malcolm Carruthers of Carlton, whose question "Did you have a rad day at school?" drew only a look of disgust from his 15-year-old son, Myles.
|
|
| << Start < Prev 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Next > End >>
| | Results 321 - 327 of 327 |
|
Chaser events
|
