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Sport
Sailor suspiciously upbeat about sacking Print E-mail
Tuesday, 25 July 2006

ImageHe's been banned from football for two years for cocaine use, and his career is effectively over. But that hasn't stopped Wendell Sailor feeling like a million dollars. Wearing sunglasses and apparently suffering from a heavy cold, the star winger was philosophical about his fate. "At the end of the day, we're all just atoms moving at the speed of light," he said. "Who needs rugby? I feel invincible."

 
Socceroos to be given moral victory parade Print E-mail
Thursday, 06 July 2006
ImageThe Socceroos are planning a ticker-tape parade to celebrate rightfully reaching the quarter-finals of the FIFA World Cup after their match against Italy. Despite the Socceroos' moral victory, a dodgy last-minute penalty enabled the Italians to remain in contention to be crowned world champions of football, and also diving.
 
eBay becomes unofficial sponsor of the Ashes Print E-mail
Wednesday, 07 June 2006
ImageEngland will play to home crowds in Australia for the first time, thanks to the work of unofficial Ashes sponsor and ticket outlet eBay.  With the series attracting unprecedented demand, several world records could fall: biggest crowd at a Test, most number of times "Barmy Army" is chanted in a row, and biggest landing of scum from the British Isles in the southern hemisphere since 1788.
 
Doctors clear Kewell to strain groin in first World Cup match Print E-mail
Monday, 05 June 2006
ImageIn a huge boost to the Socceroos' World Cup false hopes, doctors have cleared Harry Kewell to take to the field in Australia's first match against Japan. Kewell will now be able to hog the ball on the left wing as usual for around 20 minutes before leaving the field with a fresh groin injury.
 
Pittman and Lewis resolve feud: will whinge about other countries instead Print E-mail
Wednesday, 29 March 2006
ImageTrack star Jana Pittman put aside her feud with arch-rival Tamsyn Lewis after the pair combined to win the 4x400m relay for Australia. Lewis mounted a protest on a technicality that saw England stripped of their gold, and a delighted Pittman and Lewis promised that from now on, their sniping and poor sportsmanship would be directed exclusively at other countries.
 
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