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Thursday, 16 November 2006 |
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America's war in
Iraq has claimed its most popular casualty yet, Donald Rumsfeld, who
has announced his resignation. Rumsfeld denied that he was "cutting
and running" from the challenges of office, saying his resignation
was a "phased withdrawal" from the Secretariat.
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Thursday, 24 August 2006 |
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John Mark Karr, who admitted to the
murder of JonBenet Ramsey, has also confessed to his involvement in
the string of infamous murders that terrified London in 1888. "The
mystery can finally be solved - I am Jack the Ripper," said Karr.
"And also the Boston Strangler." While Karr's former wife has
presented an alibi that puts him outside Whitechapel in the late
nineteenth century, the chief suspect is adamant, saying that he is
not a publicity seeker. "The media should not treat this
frivolously," he said. "After all, my assassination of Archduke
Ferdinand started the First World War."
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Monday, 31 July 2006 |
The tatters of the Middle East peace process lay in shreds
today, as the UN announced plans to send a pointless peacekeeping force to Lebanon. A
timetable has been drawn up, and a multinational force looks set to be deployed
the moment it will be completely redundant.
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Monday, 24 July 2006 |
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Former secretary Kim Ok has declared her
life-long obedience to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il. Not shy in his
courtship, Kim and his secret police reportedly pursued Ok vigorously, often
having flowers delivered to the inside of her house. Impressed by his
persistence, and the power of life and death he held over her, the two began
dating only days after Ok's previous husband disappeared. Ever the romantic, he proposed by giving her a voting form on which it
was only possible to choose "yes".
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Wednesday, 28 June 2006 |
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Radical cleric Abu Bakur Bashir's command for John Howard to convert to Islam has instead been accepted by Michelle Leslie, who
plans to dedicate her life to the religion for at least a fortnight. Leslie said she had
a profound respect for the religion, and felt a spiritual bond with the cleric
after he also gave a fabrication-filled interview on 60 Minutes.
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