Perth's leading Panama hat salesman has resigned after admitting business dealings with his one and only customer, former Western Australian Premier Brian Burke. "In this line of work, all my business dealings are supposed to be shady," he said. "But when Mr Burke brought Kevin Rudd into the shop to try on some hats, I knew I was fatally compromised."

Sheikh Taj El-Din Hilali has agreed not to give any more sermons at the Lakemba mosque, following the intervention of fellow Muslims, or as the Sheikh called them, "Islamaphobes". The controversial cleric was also forced to deny that he was a bigot who hated Australia. "I think Australia is the greatest Satanic infidel country full of lying convicts in the world. I didn't wish to offend anyone, except idolators and Jews"