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National
Latham promises universal healthcare for everyone he's assaulted Print E-mail
Monday, 29 December 2003

[Edition 79] SYDNEY, Wednesday: Federal Opposition Leader Mark Latham outlined a bold initiative today*, promising to offer full medical cover to everyone he'd drunkenly assaulted.
 
Bartlett to resign "When I'm 0.64" Print E-mail
Monday, 29 December 2003

[Edition 79] CANBERRA, Monday: Democrats leader Andrew Bartlett today announced to party faithful and his A.A. support group that he intends to stay on as leader until his blood alcohol level reaches 0.64. Such an achievement would see Bartlett break John Coulter's historic record as the most disastrous Democrats leader ever.
 
Govt to exclude mainland ethnic suburbs from migration zone Print E-mail
Monday, 12 May 2003
[Edition 78] CANBERRA, Tuesday: The government today redrew more national borders in line with its xenophobic policies, passing a law to excise Sydney's ethnic enclaves Lakemba and Cabramatta from the Australian migration zone. Under the law, foreigners in those suburbs cannot apply to become Australian citizens.
 
Alston needs $10,000 plasma screen to fully understand abuse of office Print E-mail
Sunday, 23 February 2003

[Edition 68] CANBERRA, Wednesday: Communications Minister Richard Alston came under fire today after it was revealed that Telstra had lent him a $10,000 plasma screen TV use in his private home. Alston defended himself, telling reporters, "I see this loan as essential in understanding new digital technologies. As well as the process by which a politician can be bribed."
 
Weather Channel latest to launch new sketch comedy show Print E-mail
Saturday, 22 February 2003

[Edition 68] SYDNEY, Sunday: The cable Weather Channel today became the 41st Australian network to launch a new sketch comedy show as part of its 2003 lineup. The new show, to be called Weather It's Funny, will feature parodies of movies and tv shows – "with an hilarious weather twist," according to Weather Channel CEO Max Drayton.
 
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