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New Donna Hay book great for people stuck with only a full pantry, fresh coriander
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Prime Minister
John Howard has revealed an ambitious scheme to trade carbon dioxide
emissions for votes in the upcoming Federal Election. The scheme
involves companies trading pollution with each other in the form of
political capital for the Coalition.
With the sale of 75% of PBL Media to a foreign superannuation
company, James Packer has finally given up control of the family's media
empire. When asked what he planned to do with the $5 billion proceeds of the
deal, Packer said he intends to "make the leap Dad never did - into intelligent,
engaging media ventures".
Although terror detainee David Hicks has been back in Australia
for a few weeks, the 31-year-old claims he feels like he "never left Cuba".
Citing the geographical isolation and social desolation of South
Australia's capital city, human rights groups have
called Hicks' return to Adelaide proof the Howard government endorses the use of torture.
Visitors to Wollongong's
Moulin Bleu gentleman's club have confessed to being disappointed by the ambience
and décor of the venue, having been led to believe the place catered to a more sophisticated
clientele. "The posters out the front conjured up images of tasteful European erotica
and ribald burlesquery," said patron Oliver Barron. "They didn't say anything
about the tacky modern art prints or cheap carpet that's obviously designed to
hide vomit stains."
A judge has ruled Paris Hilton will be
"in" custody this season, sentencing her to 45 days in county jail. "Paris is known for her variety of looks," he said. "This season it'll be stripes." The judge said he had considered a community service order instead
of jail, but had decided that Hilton could best serve the community by
being removed from it.
The producers of Big Brother have honoured a contestant's father's wish
that his daughter Emma not be told of his death. "I've been watching
the series, and I know how depressing the goings-on in that house are,"
he told family members. "I'm worried that the news could tip her over
the edge." Instead, all housemates will be allowed to share in the moment at a special, prime-time ‘Friday Night Funeral' episode.
A
concert-goer has tried and failed to single-handedly rouse his fellow
audience members to a standing ovation. At the conclusion of an
Australian Chamber Orchestra performance of Saint-Saëns'
Septet in E flat major, Richard Worthstone, 57 of Neutral Bay, stood
erect and clapped for a solid minute before turning, seeing no-one
else performing the same action, and finally resuming his seat.
Popular mystery writer Jessica Fletcher
has been charged with 689 homicides previously declared solved.
Police say Fletcher concocted an
image as a harmless busybody and amateur sleuth as a means of
avoiding suspicion, allowing to kill her victims with means varying from a marble bust toppled from a roof-top to a rigged stunt
man's gun. She avoided detection for many years before prosecutors
uncovered statistics showing Fletcher on or near the scene of
hundreds of different homicides.
The Australian Government's call for Ricky Ponting's side to abandon
its tour to Zimbabwe has been echoed by their opponents. "We've
suffered enough in this country without having to get thrashed by
Australia again," captain Prosper Utseya said. "In my view, being made to face Brett Lee when you've only made the
team because of a racially biased selection policy is cruel and unusual
punishment."
After having to live with conservative prime ministers for
nearly 30 years, British liberals are hoping Tony Blair's retirement will give their nation its first left-wing government in decades and a return to the glory days of Harold Wilson. "We're all holding our breath," said Labour voter Eric Cudlipp.
"Maybe now we'll see some power returned to trade unions, welfare reform and a government that isn't in lockstep with Republican warmongers."
Former Patrick Stevedores CEO Chris Corrigan has slammed
the ABC docu-drama Bastard Boys for what he calls a one-sided representation of the
waterfront dispute. In response, Corrigan and the Howard Government are
developing a plan to replace the entire ABC drama department with scab
scriptwriters trained in Dubai.
NCIS fan and regular
visitor to the Suicide Girls website Gary Bullock has admitted he only joined
revolutionary political group Socialist Alliance on the chance that he "would meet some hot goth babes". Bullock, who cares nothing about the exchange
of blood for oil and rides a Ducati motorbike, nevertheless agreed to sell
copies of Green Left Weekly in a local mall "as long as that chick with
the dreadlocks and neck tattoo shows me the ropes".
