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Depressed window just wishes pane would go away
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Ten years after they finished high school together, former
Young Achiever Lee Rosken can recall minor personality quirks and biographical
details about every single one of his classmates, an ability he demonstrated at
his reunion late last year. "Lee was pretty quiet at school," said reunion
organiser Anna Aprile. "Which made it kinda creepy that he could describe all
the different outfits I wore on mufti days."
In what has been described as a massive coup for Australia's
environmental movement, the nation's homeless have put their support behind the
push to phase out giant plastic bags. "This is a great day for Mother Nature,"
said Clean Up Australia spokesman Ian Kiernan. "From now on, we can expect to
see homeless people using reusable giant green bags to carry their meagre possessions,
not those planet-harming stripey plastics."
While the racing world reels from the devastating effects of
equine flu, there is one group feeling optimistic about the future. "It's a
shame those trainers and horse owners have lost millions of dollars," said gambling
addict Tommy Vincent. "But on the plus side, my son can get those braces he
needs."
In a victory bound to take the troubled singer's mind off
her custody battle, Britney Spears has been crowned Mother Of The Year after a
nationwide search. The competition spanned a variety of criteria, including
community involvement, life/work balance and erratic behaviour. "No matter how
many nominees we looked at, Britney's name came up again and again," said judge
Julia Burris. "It's just a shame she was too drunk to come to the awards
ceremony."
Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey called John Howard
the “Don Bradman of Australian politics” this week because his
magnificent record of victories will be forever tarnished by
an embarrassing defeat in his final contest. "I was originally trying to
pay tribute to the PM's resiliance by evoking the image of the Don
batting on and on forever, immovably," Hockey said. "But as a Costello
supporter, the other implication doesn't exactly bother me."
