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Year 8 declares drawn penis hilarious
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John Howard has released his first video on YouTube,
providing much-needed diversion for the bored office workers whose
votes he needs to win this year's election. The Prime Minister is delighted that he has managed to produce something that has received a better response from low-income workers than WorkChoices.
Critics have slammed an SMS sent by account executive Morgan
Teuber to a group of his friends, claiming the tone of his brief communication
is unclear. The text message, which stated a desire "2 C TRANSFORMERS ITLL B
COOL", has divided recipients, who are unable to reach consensus on whether
Teuber was serious, joking or something else entirely.
Always one step ahead of his political counterparts, Greens
senator Bob Brown has joined social networking site Bebo, setting up an account
under the name ‘Greenblooded'. "While other politicians go for the glitz and
glamour of MySpace or the slick, corporate look of Facebook," he said in the
‘Me, My Life And I' section of his profile, "I chose an environmentally
conscious alternative."
Whether he's informing
his wife she's a "big, fat dynamo" or telling his co-workers "don't have a cow, man", Brisbane
removalist Gareth Schreiber takes all his conversational cues from The Simpsons. The 32-year-old, who has
been watching the long-running TV show since it began, is able to apply his encyclopaedic knowledge of the program to any circumstance, be it a deceptively painful injury or a
discussion on the relative cowardice of the French.
Author
Salman Rushdie has gratefully received the honour of a knighthood,
and is now looking forward to the protective measures that accompany
it. The novelist has already asked if he can keep the guard of honour
that accompanied him to the ceremony. "I know I've been critical of
pomp and ceremony in the past," he said. "But I've come to
appreciate some of the most ancient aspects of knighthood, like
carrying a shield everywhere, and constantly praying for protection."
