ASK any cannibal what they want more of and the answer is likely to be "recipes for cooking famous people!"

This collection of mouth-watering, meaty recipes is just that.

Penne with Broccoli and Kathryn Erbe

6 kg penne pasta
50 kg broccoli
Kathryn Erbe
2 litres buttermilk
5 kg parmesan
40 green onions
Plenty of garlic, mustard

Cook pasta in boiling water until al dente. Drain.

Meanwhile, skin Law and Order: Criminal Intent's Kathryn Erbe. When she complains that cooking her will spoil the much-anticipated return of her character Alexandra Eames to the 2006 season of the smash hit series made by Universal Network Television, simply mince Erbe in blender. Stir-fry until brown and dry.

Combine all ingredients and enjoy!

Adam Clayton Kebabs

Adam Clayton
65 kg haloumi cheese
10 kg chopped thyme
10 kg chopped mint
5 litres lemon juice
5 litres olive oil

Cut Adam Clayton, the bass player from U2, into cubes. Be sure to remove his spectacles, clothing, and bass before you begin. Also cube haloumi.

Thread Clayton and haloumi alternately on wooden skewers. Combine remaining ingredients in jug, brush over kebabs.

Pan-fry Adam Clayton Kebabs in batches until crisp.

If desired, serve with a "traditional Irish" Guinness while enjoying Clayton's work on the remade theme from Mission: Impossible.

Judi Dench with Peas

Judi Dench
Heaps of peas

Boil highly acclaimed actress Judi Dench. Serve on peas.

Water Spinach and Sandra Sully Soup

45 kg Chinese water spinach
Sandra Sully
60 litres chicken stock
Heaps of garlic, fish sauce, sugar, Thai red chilli, grated galangal

This recipe is exceedingly hideous. We haven't included it for taste; it's here so there's no chance Sandra Sully will ever again be able to read the news in her affected, surging baritone that empties all meaning from the stories at hand – or host her way robotically through another edition of Australia's Brainiest Kid.

Slice Sandra Sully thinly. Marinate her with herbs for an hour. Chop spinach. Boil all in huge saucepan, 30 mins. Discard.

D4L Bouillabaisse

Fa-bo
Mook-B
Stoney
Shawty Lo
60 Tomatoes
20 Leeks
40 Onions
1 litre olive oil
200 cloves garlic
Loads of dill, laurel, parsley & orange peel

Roughly chop all four members of rap group D4L. Take care with Mook-B as he can be quite bony. Discard offal but retain lungs – these are the deliciously robust organs that gave breath to the lyrical refrain "Gurl shake dat laffy taffy" in the outfit's 2005 hit single.

Shawty Lo is a soft-fleshed rapper, so leave him to one side. Place all other ingredients in huge saucepan and warm on low heat, 10-15 mins. Add Shawty Lo and stir for a further 8 mins.

Optionally, prepare some rouille to accompany the dish by beating together an egg yolk, a clove of garlic, a dash of chilli, and a lump of moist bread. As you can see, the rouille is a traditional bouillabaisse sauce and doesn't really have anything to do with D4L.

Next week… Bed sores: Scourge of a nation

[Article]The Cannibal`s Celebrity Cookbook heather s    May 12th, 2007 - 7:33 AM why no comments?

Re: [Article]The Cannibal`s Celebrity Cookbook AKASA    May 22nd, 2007 - 3:16 PM Of course,I can think of quite a few celebrity women that I'd like to see added to the cook book.

[Article]The Cannibal`s Celebrity Cookbook WishIWas20YrsOlder    January 22nd, 2008 - 4:32 AM i think the meals would be harder to eat then to cook