IT sounds like a made-up thing, but Reader's Digest offers you a PRIZE of $50 if you submit a joke or a letter or something and it gets published. Actually the amount might be $100 or some other figure, but let's just say it's $50 because that's what some people think it is.

On top of that, some instant lottery tickets offer the chance of winning $50 too! Wahay!

In fact there are ALL SORTS of ways of winning $50. I could go into them here in great detail but I'm rather busy.

The point is… just IMAGINE winning $50! What on earth would you DO with the money?

Here's what some really famous people said!

Professor Ian Frazer, Australian of the Year:

"I'd immediately put the money into one of my camps for improving the self-esteem of teenagers. God knows, I'm such a pain-in-the-arse goodie-goodie school-captain philanthropist, I'd never spend it on a nice bottle of wine for myself."

Trevor Flugge, Australian Wheat Board chairman:

 "$50? I'd immediately hand it over to Saddam Hussein. I mean, no I wouldn't! I wouldn't give it to Saddam Hussein. Nope, I'd never do that. Wouldn't think of it. Ridiculous. An absurd idea. That's the absolute truth – if I had $50, I would NOT hand any of it over to Saddam Hussein. Well, maybe I'd give him $25. I mean, no I wouldn't! I wouldn't give him anything at all! Not Saddam Hussein, no! Never. Wouldn't even give him $5. Actually I probably would give him $5. I mean, no I wouldn't! What were you thinking – that I'd give money to Saddam Hussein! Nonsense! Completely unheard of. If I had $50, I would give ALL of it to Saddam Hussein. … I mean, NONE of it! That's what I said – none of it! Not a cent. In fact I've never heard of Saddam Hussein. Saddam Hussein? Never heard of the man. If he even is a man – I mean, what, is he a woman? I don't know you see, I've never heard of him. Never heard of the man I've given lots of money to. I mean, the man I HAVEN'T given any money to! Whoops! Complete slip of the tongue. Sorry! So, to summarise, if I had $50, I'd give the whole damn lot straight to Saddam Hussein. I mean, I WOULDN'T! Bah!"

Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain star

"What? $50? Geez, I'd buy myself a plastic replica of the Oscar that Heath's going to win instead of me. Ass-headed Australian! I too can play a gay man, why doesn't anyone see that?"

Dick Smith, entrepreneur:

"I'd spend my $50 prize on a delicious jar of Australian-made Beluga caviar. Geez, that's an entrepreneurial idea, now that I think of it – Aussie caviar! It's outrageous we don't own the Russian caviar that's on our supermarket shelves. That's it, I'll release my own. Hey, I know! Perhaps I'll rename the product in a way that just trips off the tongue, you know, to avoid copyright issues. 'Bell Ooga Kavviah,' that's the one. And by the way, could journalists please stop listing my job description as 'entrepreneur'?"

Sandra Sully, newsreader:

"I'd give the money to a speech therapist, and see if they could make me talk normally instead of like a giant grouper fish in a science fiction movie that's been bombarded with radiation and thereby acquired the ability to mouth words in a weird, booming voice."

Christopher "Kit" Marlowe, 17th century playwright and poet

"Zounds! Fifty of Australian dollars from the Year of Our Lord 2006 could well nigh purchase ninety of mine Elizabethan groats, were it to travel by means magickal hitherward to mine hand. Nor would I tarry, but verily would I procure myself of cold meats and ales, and mayhap bring unto me a saucy young urchin boy or twain with whom to sport and gambol the night through. Zounds!"

Next week: The long-awaited bed sores article finally arrives!

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Chas    February 12th, 2006 - 7:37 AM well this new system is very intersting isn't it?

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Chas    February 12th, 2006 - 7:47 AM it's also interesting.

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? moussaka    February 12th, 2006 - 7:48 AM It's crazytown. I'm still trying to find out about all the new stuff...

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? moussaka    February 12th, 2006 - 7:51 AM I don't understand. What is this? Oh... I see...

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? dom    February 12th, 2006 - 7:53 AM It's a new commenting system... sorry everything's been lost from before, we'll try to bring it back. But this system will work heaps better... it's fully integrated with the new forum.

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? moussaka    February 12th, 2006 - 7:55 AM So now... everything's connected? Crazy. Awesome.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? dom    February 12th, 2006 - 7:57 AM Yeah, man, we're all connected. Peace.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? DomAnon    February 12th, 2006 - 8:20 AM Testing anonymous comments. They work, but you'll be prompted for a name and email address. Incidentally, it now won't let people enter existing usernames. So no more Fadeaway impersonations from the autist also known as Slapsy.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Sean    February 12th, 2006 - 8:46 AM i'd buy a bottle of Jimmy Beam

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? U.Pseudonopoulos    February 12th, 2006 - 6:23 PM Quote from: DomAnon on February 13, 2006, 12:20:47 AM Incidentally, it now won't let people enter existing usernames. So no more Fadeaway impersonations from the autist also known as Slapsy. Excellent. I'd had just about enough of this other random guy who was posting as me. His points were always perfectly valid, and pretty much exactly what I wanted to say, except that he always put in one or two spelling or grammatical mistakes to make me look foolish. Honest. More seriously, well done and thanks to anyone involved with the new system. It is good like a good thing.

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? fadeaway    February 12th, 2006 - 7:35 PM Quote from: DomAnon on February 13, 2006, 12:20:47 AM Incidentally, it now won't let people enter existing usernames. So no more Fadeaway impersonations from the autist also known as Slapsy. Well yay (I guess).  Now people will realise that their slapsy-inspired opinion of me was actually correct anyway, I AM A PRICK!!!

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? still not thaluikhain    February 13th, 2006 - 12:06 AM Far be it for me to complain about the chaser, but should you be picking on Ian Frazer?  I mean, he has done something remotely useful, differing from the usual people you write about.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Sheltered_Life    February 13th, 2006 - 9:01 PM Incidentally, it now won't let people enter existing usernames. So no more Fadeaway impersonations from the autist also known as Slapsy. Damnit, he was so much nicer than the real fadeaway

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? fadeaway    February 15th, 2006 - 1:07 AM Quote from: Sheltered_Life on February 14, 2006, 01:01:59 PM Damnit, he was so much nicer than the real fadeaway No he wasn't.  He was big a mean and mighty unclean!

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? TimT    February 15th, 2006 - 4:07 AM If the person who did the fake Leunig entry into that Iranian competition fesses up, then I'll pay them fifty dollars, honest and truly, I will!

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Tyranus    February 15th, 2006 - 4:12 AM he has...and he's apologised...and The Age doesn't care anymore...or at least thats what the ABC said...I think it was them anyway *-)

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? TimT    February 15th, 2006 - 4:17 AM I know he's fessed up to The Age. But which one of you guys was it ....?

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? JohnnyBravo    February 15th, 2006 - 5:25 AM Quote from: Sean on February 13, 2006, 12:46:41 AM i'd buy a bottle of Jimmy Beam I like you.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? JackDave    February 15th, 2006 - 10:48 AM so tired... internet addictive... must sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Bolo Naboo    February 17th, 2006 - 9:52 AM A 50 bag, straight away.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? TasManiac    February 21st, 2006 - 7:53 PM Well, 50 bucks is a lotta money and it would need to be spent wisely.  I went to a brothel the other day and asked them what I could get for 50 bucks.  I was told that I would get an erection but that I would have to do the rest myself.  Hey, at my time of life, that was the cheapest erection I've had for a long time.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? complete batard    February 22nd, 2006 - 9:20 PM 50 buck wow i would love to win that thats more than my life saving age:84

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Bruce Campbell    February 24th, 2006 - 1:00 AM Quote from: complete batard on February 23, 2006, 01:20:33 PM 50 buck wow i would love to win that thats more than my life saving age:84 That's what happens when you vote Liberal...at least you're kids wont want to bump you off early for it.  Unless/until Howard wins the next election

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? fadeaway    February 24th, 2006 - 9:07 PM Quote from: Thaluikhain on February 24, 2006, 05:00:41 PM That's what happens when you vote Liberal...at least you're kids wont want to bump you off early for it.  Unless/until Howard wins the next election your.

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? JohnnyBravo    February 25th, 2006 - 12:40 AM Quote from: fadeaway on February 25, 2006, 01:07:00 PM Quote from: Thaluikhain on February 24, 2006, 05:00:41 PM That's what happens when you vote Liberal...at least you're kids wont want to bump you off early for it.  Unless/until Howard wins the next election your. That's what happens when you vote Liberal; Mark Latham doesn't get to read to them and teach them how to spell.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Jayde    April 5th, 2006 - 12:10 AM I wonder what The Packer would have done with a fifty.... oh wait... almost forgot...he's dead.

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Fritz    April 5th, 2006 - 12:17 AM Quote from: Jayde on April 05, 2006, 04:10:44 PM I wonder what The Packer would have done with a fifty.... oh wait... almost forgot...he's dead. used it to roll a big stogie or slip it down the waitress's skirt at the casino

Re: [Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? pomonanist    April 5th, 2006 - 2:52 AM I'd want to catch something that I might be ashamed of.

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? ddag    May 13th, 2006 - 10:53 PM hahahaha hilarious!!!

[Article]What would YOU do if you won $50? Lynx    May 21st, 2006 - 5:30 AM I would give it to BBC, assuring about another 20 Dr.Who series.