Deportment

There are terribleh few things in life less pleasing to the eye than a slouching horse. Always walk stiffly and hold yourself proud. Try balancing a coffee-table book on your triangular head as you plod around the agistment.

Elocution

Dally Watkins' skills in raising horsey girls are now being put to use raising girly horses

Dining

Never overeat at trough. Too many young horses these days consume horrendous quantities of chaff and handfuls of proffered carrots; it is, quite simply, unattractive. Salt licker tablets are flat out unacceptable - your sandy old tongue ought to remain "tastefulleh" behind your square, yellow teeth. Then when you have finished an elegant sufficiency, emit a restrained snuffle and turn slowly aside, as is a horse's wont.

Grooming

Unfortunateleh, grooming yourself is well "neigh" impossible for a horse. Your clumsy, blunt hooves are no better suited to grasping a brush than they are a teacup. Which is a piteh, as either one would assist your daintiness enormousleh. Sadly I can offer no help in this department. Begone with you! 

June Dally Watkins will not return in future weeks.