Recently I noticed that when you try and write ‘chaser’ in a text message it comes up as ‘biases’. With this in mind I present my next column.

Bishop Flags Populism 

Like a hippopotamus with bowel cancer, the Liberal Party continues to churn out the kind of muck that should never see the light of day.  The latest lump to emerge is a cranky old whinger called Bronwyn Bishop.  This carping straight-laced conservative, most comfortable sucking up to the residents of Northern Beaches nursing homes with grumbles about Westies and young people, has a new campaign.  She wants people who burn the Australian flag to be gaoled for six months.  Oh great, really important stuff.  We've got a skills crisis, an increasing gap between rich and poor, and a looming environmental Armageddon – and she wants to divert attention to that populist bandwagon.  Bronwyn if the issue is really important to you perhaps you should self-immolate in protest.     

Oh Stop Whaling Greenie-Haters 

I just love the delicious hypocrisy of our government, which does nothing for the environment, getting on its high horse about Japanese whaling.  I mean, really it's pathetic.  As an environmental issue, it's right down the bottom of the heap behind systemic problems like energy and water conservation, pollution, and global warming.   

It's almost as bad as animal rights activism.  You know all those self-obsessed ruling class types, who wouldn't know a working class person if one wandered into their colonic irrigation suite, who campaign for animal rights because it is just about the most uncontroversial thing you can get passionate about.  It's the politics of ‘I love my dog' – I mean, what reasonable human being doesn't agree kittens shouldn't be tortured?

Anyway, I digress. 

This Liberal government, whose whole history is built on hating greenies, are out there scolding Japan because they want to harvest a few whales.  When they haven't even signed the Kyoto protocol and are contemplating nuclear power.  It is an absolute joke.    

Sir Joh's Wet Dream 

Now even God's pissing on the unions from a great height...

Hearing the locals' stories about teenagers being rorted by local employers made me reflect sadly that it's a pity Sir Joh is dead, because he'd be having a wet dream right now.  I am of course joking – it could never be a pity that Sir Joh is dead.  Except of course if you come from the point of view that he should have died in gaol.   

I must say I'm actually quite optimistic about the Government's IR changes.  If the disgraceful antics of every grubby employer (they're a minority, but there's still plenty of them) are sheeted home to this government, we could be rid of them at the next election.  Perhaps it's the first example of Howard abandoning his famous caution, and letting his power go to his head. 

Also I just love the hypocrisy of the changes.  Howard has done his best to make workers feel guilty if they don't come home from work with bleeding fingers or if they ask for more than a turnip a week in pay  but made it as easy as possible to be a crap businessperson by allowing the shonks to subsidise their ineptitude by taking a large slice of their employees' pay packets.  Brilliant. 

Of course, the most cynical part of the government's whole IR agenda has been to put the most boring man imaginable into the job of selling it all – to make it look as innocuous as possible.  Talk about exploiting someone at work.  Kevin Andrews is truly the first victim of the brave new industrial relations world.  

Soccer Cheats Revealed  

The Italy vs Australia game - we didn't deserve to win, but we certainly didn't deserve to lose.  Nuff said.  However, you may remember my earlier comments on the cheating, unsportsmanlike play of ‘Latino style' players.  Well, now I have evidence.  Check it out .   

James Hardie Outrage 

Sorry, but the latest developments in the James Hardie saga make me sick with rage.  The Howard Government – after doing nothing to force James Hardie to compensate its sick and dying victims – is now refusing to help through a deal the unions and NSW State Labor government spent years negotiating.   

Howard claims James Hardie must find all the money and not rely on any tax breaks.  Well, if Howard was so determined his big business mates should pay for everything, why didn't he regulate that it be the case?  Or at least roll up his sleeves and be part of the negotiations, not just scupper others' work at the last minute?  I really don't understand what their problem is – I thought giving out corporate welfare and transferring working families' incomes (our taxes) into the pockets of bosses and shareholders was their whole raison d'etre. 

Oh, now I get it.  By playing hardball and then eventually letting the deal go through, they get to grandstand about how bad James Hardie is.  Without doing anything to actually make James Hardie pay, and now that victims groups and unions have done all the hard work, they get to act all tough and get all the good headlines.  What slimy bastards.   

And next week they'll be telling us how big business can regulate itself.  Oh yeah and how we can trust employers to keep workers safe in the workplace and give them decent wages and conditions.    

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