Timmy's Guide To Chaser Forum Personalities 

No matter what you write on The Chaser there's always a chorus of voices that respond to your work. They merrily post their thoughts on the comment board which stretches off the bottom of your beloved column like the faeces trailing behind a goldfish. In fact as a writer, one is at first taken aback by the at times unrestrained nastiness of their comments. At no time in history have scribes had to put up with such unfiltered democracy. 

Some of these commentators are transients – workplace slackers and bored students who drift in and quickly slam out a comment for the novelty of it all – just to feel they're hip to the virtual world of forums, blogs, podcasts and chat rooms. But by far the most commentary comes from rusted on website regulars. 

I have long wondered about these Chaser forum enthusiasts. Who are these people who wallow in their anonymity free to be as venomous as possible? Why are so many forum posts simply artistic sledging? How do new recruits learn the important personalities, the nuances of etiquette, the alliances, the fakers, the right-wing loons – the people who just want a reaction?  And most importantly, how many of them are members of The Chaser team desperately trying to drum up interest in their own content? 

But no matter who they are or whether they're casting bouquets or brickbats – or most worst of all, deafening silence – they've always there to give their opinion on your mutterings. So I decided to return the courtesy, and turn the spotlight back on them and give my opinion of their body of work. 

Behold the wonder of ...Timmy's Guide to Chaser Forum Personalities^TM

Fadeaway: The most fecund of all forum members – he has posted over 8,000 comments on the site. The king of the ‘Poke and Giggle' brigade, he delights in flagrant displays of racism, sexism and homophobia to enrage forum novices who don't understand the harsh world of laxly moderated forums – and their culture of argumentation at any cost.  In fact in many ways they reek of teenage angst and misdirected anger. Fadeaway has in fact somewhat tired of playing with freshers and has retreated deep into the back of the site to discussion boards used only by the most initiated forum members. In fact he is so hated that there are no fewer than six variations of his name registered by disgruntled debaters he's junked – names like fadeawaysux , IwishYOUwould_FADEAWAY, and notfadeaway, etc. He is also a rabid right-winger and accountant, and has gone out to pasture somewhat since he has stumbled across a girlfriend.  Posts mainly during work hours.    

Nerds FC's Nick 2

Squiggleyak: One of the few people who seems to have a genuinely moderate political position.  She argues out points, admittedly sometimes with herself, with a perfect balance. What a shock that someone who is not a rabid political extremist comments on The Chaser. She's a primary school teacher. 

Gin_Bunny: Someone who actually seems to have nice sensible conversations, and is a woman.  Are we noticing a pattern here?  On her profile she has the guts to tell us she's a 23 year old from Adelaide.  Loves chocolate and seems to know everyone.  A true custodian of the social history of the site. 

Pertinax: Probably the most prolific and aggressive right winger on board.  Doesn't hold back at personal slurs and very bile-filled invective as this comment, ‘Have a nice cry, fucking gushy, overnice, deluded treehugging, freak' and his signature ‘it is better to be feared than loved' will attest. Basically his blood boils and he does his best to make sure everyone else's does too.  An ex-Victorian policeman, he fancies himself as a philosopher. Likes to tell everyone they shouldn't be nasty to police because they are really tough and will look you up on the computer and pin you with anything misdemeanour they can find. Pretty sure he's married with children.  

Ankhdragon: This is one girl who doesn't take any shit.  She's a lefty and mixes it with all the boys.  She has begun a great game deep on the back of the site where other regulars send her their photos and she puts them up – but with only their eyes showing.  Everyone then has to guess who they belong to. It's called ‘The Eyes Have It'. She's a nurse at a rural hospital.  

Blue: A rare and truly positive voice who loves to post on boards such as ‘Things that are great', and ‘What's you juice?'. Loves rabbits. Lack of testosterone-fuelled posts makes me assume it's another woman. 

Rizraz: It is with some pleasure that I claim rizraz as my creation.  His first comments appear in a piece of mine, which I find very gratifying, if not a little ironic given his politics. He is a classic example of someone who started cautiously and gently and is now one of the most dominant wits on The Chaser. What we know is he lives in America, wears cheap Target underpants which he buys in packs of seven every Christmas, and started his own blog in May which only has two entries. We know he's an ex-WarHammer addict and lives in America, Chicago as far as I can work out. Though he describes himself as a moderate conservative, he leans about as far to the right as you can go without actually being buried in Newt Gingrich's armpit. Has an obsessive belief pharmaceutical companies are next to Jesus in terms of virtue.  I think it's because the ex-Commerce student works for one. 

Holmes: Another of my creations – he started posting in my article on 1^st Scientology article. While a moderator and a Sydney man we don't know much else – except that he actually engages in reasoned debate on issues. 

Brickbat: Brickbat is... well, Brickbat is me. Given the total nakedness of appearing on a national reality TV show. I believed I above anyone else should get to comment anonymously when and where I pleased.  The other great advantage of anonymity, as anyone commenting on a forum will realise, is the ability to not to have to take ownership of your more red-blooded rants. Still despite the fact Brickbat has only ever commented on my columns and always supports whatever I have written, it took a long time for him to be picked – and even then people talked themselves out of it.  Admittedly laziness has led to him being well and truly sniffed out by regular members.  Brickbat is more left-wing than a teacher's union spokesperson during a wage claim dispute, and more Marxist than the margin comments on Bob Brown's copy of the Communist Manifesto. The only difference is he doesn't fight like a lefty – he goes as hard as the right, in an attempt to show the right doesn't own ruthlessness or lack of empathy for others.  He has never succeeded in this mission.   

Slapsy: Slapsy is or was a ‘troll' – someone who causes trouble for fun. His greatest trick was to steal other well-known members' names and impersonate them when there was change to The Chaser website's software.  His greatest triumph was to post ‘I am gay' under Fadeaway's name – something that caused much hilarity and went down forever in the legend of the forum. For some reason he is the archenemy of Nate. I don't think he has been seen for some time.