This is highly likely your child

And the name of the teacher? John F Kennedy. Check out the facts for yourself. Still think I'm making this conspiracy stuff up? 

The reaction of the left side of politics was predictable: already the faux condemnation from all sectors is flooding in. Within an hour of the story breaking, a spokescommunist from the NSW Teachers' Federation claimed that it "totally distanced itself" from the contretemps, and suggested that it would "de-list" the offending teacher – the only Kennedy they've ever seen they didn't like, methinks!

Meanwhile, back in Canberra, a representative of the national teacher's group, the Australian Education Union, dragged his face out of the government goodie-trough just long enough to claim that "the AEU completely and utterly opposed the use of drugs, including within schools" and then called on the Federal Government to give more money to crack-smoking whores on welfare. (Or something like that – I don't listen very hard when they talk, do you?) 

Drugs are, of course, a part of Australian life, thanks to our short-sidedness in electing Gough Whitlam and our willingness to play fast-and-loose with public standards during the 1960s. We've had to put up with watching them move from being a fad amongst the "groovy" set, into the mainstream, popularised by "rock and roll" and other forms of counter-culture and, ultimately, into our homes and suburbs. The use of drugs has become a rite of passage for successive generations of lotus-eating layabouts, with much of the flower of Australian youth spending their teenage years bonging on in preparation for a lifetime to be spent drawing the dole and voting for the ALP. As the first cohort of these un-Australian boneheads have eked their way from munchied-out teenage years into a pasty shadow of adulthood, they have inevitably found their way into the professions and into every part of Australian life. Now, not even our educational facilities are sacred. (Drugs in high schools – dear God ... what's next? Universities?) 

If we were more honest about it, we would acknowledge openly that the offering of drugs to school students by teachers was an inevitable step that is completely consistent with a left-liberal agenda for high-school education. Teachers are a notoriously politically active cadre, and let me put it this way, on election day, they don't hand out how-to-vote cards for John Howard. Most of them are loath to admit it, but teaching is the most strongly unionised profession in Australia. They have a number of subversive and un-Australian characteristics, not least of which is their tendency to whine on and on about not being paid very much, and then getting drunk at barbeques and blubbing about how crap it is to be a teacher. Experts estimate that as many as 1 in 10 teachers are, in fact, gay – a proportion that is at least as high as in the wider population. And that's a fact that doesn't make it onto the front of the NSW Teacher's Federation website, funnily enough. Coincidence? You be the judge.

And of course, it's no coincidence that this should take place in a maths class. Maths, with its rigid and inflexible systems of rules and logic has long been the subject of quiet subversion from the dedicated post-modernists and moral relativists of today's staff room. Any discipline that imposes on those who learn it the "divisive" and "non-inclusive" concept of right and wrong answers, inflexible axioms and unchanging truths was bound to breed resentment. Resentment being the only sort of breeding most of these embittered, nicotine-soaked lesbians ever get up to, mind you – no ‘Costello curves' on these wide hips, thank you very much!

Face the facts: teachers supplying drugs to school students is a natural outgrowth of decades of permissive culture, coupled with the vestigial effects of many years of a Labor government. But when you try and engage young people today on these important issues, they laugh at you and call you a silly, right-wing Ann Coulter wannabe. And then when you try and have a sensible conversation – one of them spray-paints "Nazi" on your car! Kids these days have no respect.