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Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall Print E-mail
Tuesday, 10 October 2006

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Lehmann: willing to risk incineration to play in the Ashes
After learning of an Al Qaeda plot to kill the Australian cricket team during last year's Ashes series, many former and fringe Test players have come forward to offer their willingness to step in if something untoward were to happen. Former Test batsman Darren Lehmann said he would have been willing to play in England if the selectors' first-choice team had been murdered. "If Australia doesn't field a team, then the terrorists win," he said. "That's almost as bad as England winning."

"It would have been a truly black day for cricket if that plot had succeeded, " Lehmann said. "But so was my axing by the selectors at the end of 2004. Swings and roundabouts."

Greg Matthews also declared his availability for the Test series, commentating positions, Advanced Hair advertisements and any other role that needed a "cat" who could speak only in unintelligible jive talk.

An anonymous tip-off implicated South African spinner Hashim Amla may have been implicated in the terrorist plot, but this information was later discredited after the call was found to have been placed by Dean Jones.

Al Qaeda itself denied having any part in the supposed plot. "There was no need to declare a jihad on the Australian Ashes team. Their own media took care of that," a spokesman said. "Besides, why would we want to kill Shane Warne, a mighty warrior who has even more concubines than Sheik Osama himself?"

Ian Chappell, who criticised Australia's captaincy in the Ashes series, doubts the plot to fill the dressing room with sarin nerve gas would have worked anyway. "Ponting's never had any nerve you could gas," Chappell said.

[Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
Biscuit    October 10th, 2006 - 3:58 AM


I reckon the whole team should go with body doubles. They could play twice as many games, and no-one would notice the difference!

I could volunteer to double for Warnee...I'd just need to shrink a bit, put on a couple of kilos, and learn to text properly.
Re: [Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
SG2    October 10th, 2006 - 4:06 AM
I thought this was supposed to be a satirical site, not a straightforward truthtelling one.
Re: [Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
Bigmac    October 10th, 2006 - 6:39 AM
Quote from: SG2 on October 10, 2006, 08:06:33 PM
I thought this was supposed to be a satirical site, not a straightforward truthtelling one.

Geez... noone has ever made that call before
[Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
sam3083    October 10th, 2006 - 8:06 AM
Geez... noone ever points out terrible jokes like SG2's with lines like "Geez... noone has ever made that call before".

And noone should point out what I'm pointing out.
Re: [Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
Bigmac    October 10th, 2006 - 8:18 AM
Quote from: sam3083 on October 11, 2006, 12:06:10 AM
Geez... noone ever points out terrible jokes like SG2's with lines like "Geez... noone has ever made that call before".

And noone should point out what I'm pointing out.

You're right, noone does
[Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
dirk    October 11th, 2006 - 8:15 PM
ha ha funny  smiley
[Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
Andy_the_Guitar_Playing_Pseudo_Hippie    October 19th, 2006 - 4:59 AM
Ass
[Article]Lehmann realises Al Qaeda plot his best chance of Ashes recall
Radomir    May 12th, 2007 - 2:00 AM
Sounds like it well could be true!

(8) comments
 
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