Anna Nicole Smith in a happier stupor

Tributes have poured in from fellow celebrities and adolescent boys all over the world. "I had a lot of time for Anna Nicole," said close friend Hugh Hefner. "Specifically 8.30-9.00pm on Fridays."

"I hope that wherever she is, she's at peace. Washing a car, or in front of a fire somewhere, wearing a diaphanous lacy top or something. Excuse me."

As many as three men have claimed to be father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn, with Tony Abbott's involvement yet to be ruled out. But the star's will left her $400 million estate to her deceased son, cutting out her lawyer, confidante and possible murderer, Howard K. Stern.

"Didn't my following her around, smelling her hair for a decade mean anything?" said the embittered lawyer. "It's like the love, affection and free methadone were all for nothing."

Despite the snub, Stern is still in charge of planning the funeral, and plans to use the same embalmer who worked on Smith's son, stepson and former husband J. Howard Marshall, the latter while he was still alive.

The lawyer is also penning a eulogy that compares Anna Nicole to Marilyn Monroe a minimum of five times. He will deliver it incoherently himself while partially disrobed, before being removed from the moving ceremony by ushers.

The former Playmate's fans have requested an open casket.