The hopes and dreams of the third in line to the British throne were dashed last month, when Prince Harry was cleared to fight in Iraq. The 22-year-old cornet had been keen to be posted in the region to "smoke some hash with the Arabs and chill out for a while". But Harry received a double blow when he learned not only that he would actually be required to patrol the Iranian border, but that Baghdad's famous "Green Zone" bore no resemblance whatsoever to Amsterdam's.

Prince Harry has vowed to launch a drug offensive

Harry calmed considerably after his Blues and Royals regiment were invited on a tour of Afghanistan's extensive poppy fields, even though his request for permission to sew a swastika onto his uniform "for a laugh" was denied.

The Prince is already undergoing combat training in a series of London nightspots, and said he is looking forward to the challenge. He will be the first Royal to serve in combat since the Falklands, and the first to face beheading since Charles II.

The last British royal to see active duty was Prince Andrew, who flew helicopters in the Falklands War. "Don't make the same mistakes I did," he reportedly told his nephew. "Stay away from submarines, decoy missiles and racy, plump redheads."

Harry's father could not be reached for comment, although Prince Charles wished the young man well.