Amnesty branch captures and tortures lazy letter writer

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Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders Print E-mail
Wednesday, 30 May 2007

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Fletcher showed no emotion other than moxie in court
Popular mystery writer Jessica Fletcher has been charged with 689 homicides previously declared solved. Police say Fletcher concocted an image as a harmless busybody and amateur sleuth as a means of avoiding suspicion, allowing to kill her victims with means varying from a marble bust toppled from a roof-top to a rigged stunt man's gun. She avoided detection for many years, before prosecutors uncovered statistics showing Fletcher on or near the scene of hundreds of different homicides.

Cabot Cove, the sleepy Maine town the writer called home, was similar in size to nearby, violence-free towns, but suffered dozens of bloody murders in less than a decade. "It was just too much of a coincidence to ignore," FBI profiling expert John McDonald said. "A perpetrator offering to assist in the investigation of homicide they themselves has committed is a pattern we often see in serial killings. The explanations for the crimes were just getting more and more improbable."

Fletcher was able to convince police she was genuine with a combination of homespun wisdom and plucky charm, even going as far as developing a relationship with the gruff but lovable local sheriff. "She was very convincing," said one investigator. "Her pat summation of the facts of the case, her uncanny ability to elicit a confession out of the least likely suspect, it was all very impressive. I mean, put her up against a crooked property developer trying to buy an old marina, and who are the cops going to believe?"

The FBI started to investigate Fletcher after receiving a tip-off from a cruise ship operator. "It got to the point where no cruise company would let her board one of their ships because they knew that as soon as she showed up, a corpse would soon follow," McDonald said.

Shakespearean actor Lionel Hitchens was one of those framed by the sociopathic widow. Despite protestations of innocence, he was led away in handcuffs after Fletcher gave a glib summation of his motives for a senseless crime. "Why would I kill another actor just because I was his understudy to play Hamlet? In an amateur theatre production? It didn't make any sense. But as soon as the police had spent a half-hour investigating it, they just went with the first explanation they heard, and didn't want to know any more."

While investigators say the evidence against Fletcher is overwhelming, they have not ruled out a surprise twist, possibly involving a surprise special guest star witness.

[Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
Fritz    May 30th, 2007 - 1:14 AM


She should have been charged, tried and committed years before for her lead role in "Bed Knobs and Broomsticks"
[Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
chookymeister    May 30th, 2007 - 3:45 AM
haha
[Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
StormStrykez    May 30th, 2007 - 6:22 AM
This was absolutely brilliant - and so true of almost every crime show on TV.
[Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
emmjayw    May 30th, 2007 - 7:39 AM
Brilliant. Now all I need to do is get the theme song out of my head.
Re: [Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
emmachiz    May 31st, 2007 - 2:29 AM
Return to article
She should have been charged, tried and committed years before for her lead role in "Bed Knobs and Broomsticks"

but i liked that movie 
it was one of my childhood favourites


but on another note...  cheesy very good article
Re: [Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
erinthebot    June 2nd, 2007 - 5:07 AM
Perhaps now Channel 10 will stop showing Murder She Wrote re-runs during the holidays and replace it with something more compelling and meaningful, like The Jerry Springer Show.
[Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
NinjaandtheScammy    June 3rd, 2007 - 9:20 PM
Well.  I guess I better stop telling people that my biological mother is JB Fletcher, the writer.  (Plus it really upsets my mum)
Re: [Article]Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders
hammerondaridiculous    June 4th, 2007 - 7:28 AM
Statistically, I see your point!
Yet you condemn a fine caring sharing citizen through the use of statistics, slander and in-her-endo!

That's not how crime is proved in our robust, fair minded, non politically tainted society!

Is there any DNA evidence, like semen stains on any of her clothing? I Think not!
(really, who would be sick enough to poke those wrinkles out?)

Only a sick bastard that can be blamed for either crime, could be!

He either murdered the victim to please Jessica, or he....,

*"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I shudder for good reason"*"

Did Jessica to please her  shocked.

There's a justifiable plea bargain right there, and you all know it!
The Criminal was not just insane!, but he had NO taste!

On another, somewhat distasteful note, who was the unlucky cop that did the scrape?
(Was he just another uniformed sicko, hiding behind his badge!, Or is HE the perp! - You Decide!)

Jessica must be innocent, Jessica's a *gasp* celebrity!

Even if she is found guilty, surely her crime is only worth 45 days detention, with half of that removed for good  behavior!

She even promises to buy a small dog she can keep in her purse!

Free Jessica Your Honour, Free Her!

Or at least let her do "roomy's" with paris!

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