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Harry Potter ends: children stop reading
Tuesday, 28 August 2007
An unidentified teacher forces his pupils to enjoy some light reading
An unprecedented era of book-enjoyment has come to a halt this month, as children around the world finish the final chapter
of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. "I didn't know whether Harry or
Voldemort was going to die in Book Seven," one fan said. "But I've always known
that when the series ended, I'd be saying ‘avada kedavra' to my interest in
books."
"I'll miss reading, and I wish I could find another lengthy series involving
epic magical battles between good and evil, or more rollicking stories set in
old-fashioned English public schools," said another teenager. "I've certainly
never heard of any, so I guess Rowling's work must be unique."
"When students started picking up Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone,
we were delighted," said school librarian Jenny Lightbody. "But now it looks
like I'll have to go back to forcing kids to borrow Playing Beatie Bow
or Charlotte's Web even if they do just leave them in their library
bags all week before returning them."
Unfortunately for experts hoping she can rekindle children's love affair with the written word, J.K. Rowling has retired from writing
novels to focus on creating a mass market hodge-podge of derivative ideas
dressed up as an original concept.
Warner Bros has told children who may be missing the Potter books to instead catch up with their pals HarryTM, RonTM and HermioneTM at HogwartsTM in the new World Of WizardryTM at Universal Resort. The new theme park aims to capture the ambience of a centuries-old English castle in a convenient Florida location.
"The park will capture all the magic and wonder of J.K. Rowling's books," a company spokesperson said. "Without the inconvenience of actually reading them."
Children are planning to return to their more traditional pursuits of watching
television, playing videogames and juvenile delinquency.
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading Alarm Duck of Awesomeness August 30th, 2007 - 4:14 AMHarry Potter and WoW. They really are going for the hard-hitting incisive satire recently, aren't they?
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading blue August 30th, 2007 - 4:15 AM
As much as I love the series, I'm glad it's all over now. I don't think I could have handled any more trauma befalling those poor characters...
PS. Making the first comment sucks. The post above got all squished up and I couldn't modify it.
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading blue August 30th, 2007 - 4:18 AM
Harry Potter and WoW. They really are going for the hard-hitting incisive satire recently, aren't they?
Shhh! At least there are new articles!
Am I the only one who's had a whole heap of new articles appear at once? I go to the homepage each time I visit this site, and it's been the Howard youtube one for aaaages...
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading WithTheDawn August 30th, 2007 - 8:56 AM
Quote
"I'll miss reading, and I wish I could find another lengthy series involving epic magical battles between good and evil, or more rollicking stories set in old-fashioned English public schools," said another teenager. "I've certainly never heard of any, so I guess Rowling's work must be unique."
Had to laugh at that . I'm glad the series is over as well; the books were good, but the outright hysteria they caused just pissed me off. And made me feel tacky when I went and bought each book the day it came out, if only to get it finished before I was spoiled.
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading EbonyPebony August 30th, 2007 - 10:03 AM
I'm glad the series is over as well; the books were good, but the outright hysteria they caused just pissed me off. And made me feel tacky when I went and bought each book the day it came out, if only to get it finished before I was spoiled.
In other words "I love the series until everyone else does, then it's tacky, and I'm too good to wait in line amongst those nerdy fans who are so totally not like me at all"?
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading WithTheDawn August 30th, 2007 - 10:07 AM
In other words "I love the series until everyone else does, then it's tacky, and I'm too good to wait in line amongst those nerdy fans who are so totally not like me at all"?
Yeap. The Chaser all over again, really.
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading Alarm Duck of Awesomeness August 31st, 2007 - 2:06 AMWhen they start bringing out the stickers and the posterbooks of a thing, that thing is officially lame.
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading bludger August 31st, 2007 - 3:34 AMAll the hype really turns me off.
I read halfway down the first page, got bored, and handed it back to my friend.
[Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading emmabelle September 2nd, 2007 - 5:57 AMkids might now have time to read a real book like Lord of the Rings!
Re: [Article]Harry Potter ends: children stop reading DiddlySquat September 2nd, 2007 - 8:35 AM
Another trouble with the youth of today.....................lacking any attention span
I have no problem reading books.
But when after 10 pages of reading, all you've found out is how the heavy robes of Lucius glide over the pavement under a chilly night sky, while the full moon shines down on Snape's greasy hair....
. I'm glad the series is over as well; the books were good, but the outright hysteria they caused just pissed me off. And made me feel tacky when I went and bought each book the day it came out, if only to get it finished before I was spoiled.
