An area of Azeroth more beautiful than anything Earth can come up with
According to millions of overweight, socially awkward
players worldwide, life on Earth cannot hope to compete with a virtual
existence comprised of heroic adventure, powerful magic and sexy maidens in
need of rescue from dragons. For many, attaining level 70 in World Of
Warcraft is a far more worthy achievement than anything they could hope to
accomplish outside the game.
This opinion is not limited to those working in the IT industry. New
research has shown that, given the choice between the life of ‘Dalkyr –
gryphon-riding demon slayer' and ‘Daryl – bus-riding accountant', most people
would choose the former, especially when informed that Dalkyr has rippling
muscles, flowing golden hair and a "totally sweet Dazzling Longsword".
"It's not surprising that people are turning away from an
existence filled with war, famine and disease," said leading psychiatrist Dr
Harvey Knowles. "In the realm of Azeroth, death is temporary and the only
plague you need to worry about is one that turns you into a ravening undead creature.
Even then, you become immune to sleep spells and gain the ability to hold your
breath underwater for ages."
Avid player David Canesh, whose real-life relationship with
fellow economics student Amy Cavanagh disintegrated during an argument over how
much time he was devoting to the killing of imaginary orcs, claims to be
happier with his new girlfriend. "Magessa is a smoking hot Night Elf who blows
me kisses, LOLs at my jokes and doesn't whinge if I spend all night in the
Scarlet Monastery instead of studying," he explained. "What we have is special. It don't care if she is controlled by a middle-aged, bearded guy in Canada."
Things have only escalated with the release of the Burning
Crusade add-on, which allows players to gain powerful abilities and
enchanted armour sets that make their bill-paying, 9-to-5 existence seem even
more mundane. "I'm concerned about the upcoming Wrath Of The Lich King expansion,"
said Dr Knowles. "If it's as awesome as the video preview promises, I don't
know how I'll be able to go on living in the real world."
[Article]Actual world not as good as World Of Warcraft
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September 5th, 2007 - 5:44 AMMeanwhile, traffic on the goblin networks was at a standstill today as president Bush arrived by Hippogriff motorcade. One motorist, a gnome named Peter, commented "I don't understand why they couldn't just hold this APEC thing in Virtual Canberra. And why the hell is the president riding something from Harry Potter? What a noob." Players were outraged by 5klms of virtual security fence, as well as extra police presence inside the game. "That fence comes out of our monthly subscription," Peter said, "and I can't afford to take the money from my pizza and wrist surgery budget again."
Re: [Article]Actual world not as good as World Of Warcraft Bemused September 12th, 2007 - 5:54 AMIs President Bush a 70th Level Elite Boss in World of Warcraft? And does he drop an epic level item if you defeat him on a raid? signed a noob.
