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James Blundell scores first-ever young fan
Thursday, 06 September 2007
James: livin' and a-workin' on young women's nubile bodies
After almost two decades of catering to the musical tastes
of the middle-aged, country singer James Blundell finally learned the secret of
cornering the youth market – have regular sex with them. “I saw Jesse Curran at
one of my concerts,” he revealed. “At first I thought she must’ve been there
with her dad, but it turned out she was just wanted to hear Way Out West live.”
Curran, an Australian Idol contestant, claims she
loves 43-year-old Blundell for more than just his rugged good looks and
jackaroo background. “I’ve been listening to James’ songs ever since he
released Hand It Down in 1990,” she said. “I remember it well, because
my second-class teacher used to play it while we did process writing.”
Critics have called Blundell’s new relationship a “clever
marketing ploy” that is guaranteed to put him in touch with the younger
generation. “Publicists are already referring to the couple as JesseJames,”
said promoter Michael Chugg. “I think the time is right for James to put on an under-18s show.”
“Especially now he’s shown he’s willing to do all-ages.”
Meanwhile, Lidia Blundell has hit out at her estranged
husband’s claims that she was to blame for the break-up: “James came home early
one day, and caught me listening to a Shannon Noll album. If he thinks going
out with that little bitch is some kind of payback, just wait until I get my
hands on Damien Leith’s phone number!”
Blundell is reportedly considering an affair with an old-age
pensioner, “just to widen my appeal a bit further”. Marcia Hines was unavailable for comment.
[Article]James Blundell scores first-ever young fan Greasy Belcher September 6th, 2007 - 8:53 AM"Rugged Good Looks"
The only thing rugged about his looks is the fact that he's got a face I'd like to wipe my shitty boots on.
Re: [Article]James Blundell scores first-ever young fan hammerondaridiculous September 24th, 2007 - 8:59 AMIt could be worse, she could have inspried him to write "My Sharona".
