Click then cut and paste the URL to subscribe to our RSS feed
Website login
Britney Spears declared mother of the year
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Britney picks her kids up from playgroup
In a victory bound to take the troubled singer's mind off
her custody battle, Britney Spears has been crowned Mother Of The Year after a
nationwide search. The competition spanned a variety of criteria, including
community involvement, life/work balance and erratic behaviour. "No matter how
many nominees we looked at, Britney's name came up again and again," said judge
Julia Burris. "It's just a shame she was too drunk to come to the awards
ceremony."
"Each new revelation from her ex-bodyguards and assistants
shows what a balanced person and wonderful mother Britney is," said Burris. "Every
child dreams of a parent who takes care to hire an appropriate nanny to look
after them while she goes out clubbing with no knickers on."
According to a story leaked exclusively to NW, Famous
and New Idea, Spears celebrated her win by stripping naked in front of
her housekeeper, taking an unspecified number of drugs and quietly sobbing
while devouring a entire suckling pig. "I've never been so happy," she reportedly
said, before drink-driving with her sons on her lap.
The announcement has come as a blow to Britney's ex Kevin
Federline, who is attempting to take legal custody of the children. "When I saw
Britney's performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, I thought I had this thing
in the bag," he said. "Obviously I'd forgotten what an immoral, mooching
deadshit I am."
Spears' excellent parenting has sparked waves of jealousy
among the local schoolyards. "Jayden and Sean Preston are so lucky," said eight-year-old
Tommy Pearson. "Their mummy sings to them, and buys them cool clothes, and
shows them what a nervous breakdown looks like close-up."
Britney's own mother, Lynne Bridges, picked up second prize
in the contest.
[Article]Britney Spears declared mother of the year TAFKA.Gilly September 25th, 2007 - 3:48 AM
Great article.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONNNNEEE
Re: [Article]Britney Spears declared mother of the year Eliza September 25th, 2007 - 7:41 AMAwesome article
[Article]Britney Spears declared mother of the year gracee September 25th, 2007 - 8:07 AMhahaha, the last line takes the cake.
