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 San Francisco - a picturesque city in which to jump to one's death Clinically
depressed entreprenuer Joseph de Rossi, 27, has embarked upon a six-month
whirlwind tour of the world’s major cities, in search of the perfect place to
end his unbearable existence. The insurance salesman, who already committed career
suicide by sleeping with his boss’s wife, says he wants to do something
different with his life as he ends it. “I’m not the kind of guy to build a shoddy,
makeshift noose in my loungeroom," he explained. "I want my death to be as unique as my misery."
The Brisbane-born
father-of-two has already scouted some potential locations for his tragic final
moment on this planet. “Paris, the city of love, reminds me of lost romances
and the never-ending pain of a broken heart. Harare makes me think of how much
unalleviated suffering there is in the world. And since Stockholm is the
suicide capital of the world, it’d be like visiting Mecca.”
“I’ve
discounted Adelaide, though. It’s just too depressing.”
De Rossi
also hopes to tailor his method of suicide to the city. “If I settle on Tokyo,”
he said, “my plan is to disembowel myself with a large samurai sword. Whereas a New York
suicide would be more likely to involve jumping out of a window on Wall
Street, or maybe flying a plane into a building.”
“Even when I can’t get out of my own head, I like to
think outside the box.”
The weary-of-life
traveller has received offers from various activist groups, hoping to use his
self-termination to make a poitical point: “PETA presented me with a very attractive
proposition, but they withdrew their support when I found out I want to be
buried in a fur coat.”
In addition
to borrowing money from pawnbrokers and loan sharks, de Rossi financed the
journey by taking out multiple high-interest bank loans and triple-mortgaging
his house: “It’s not like I’m going to be paying any of it back," he explained. "I’ll leave
that to my daughters, neither of whom truly understands or loves me.”
Before he
hit upon the idea of “one last big trip before the last big trip”, de Rossi
tried to organise a suicide pact with various friends and family members, but found
them “too zesty and full of appreciation for the wonderful things life had
given them. Even my offer of a romantic murder/suicide with my ex-wife didn’t spark
any interest.”
He hopes to
sell his research in the form of a Lonely Planet-style guidebook in order to help other
would-be suiciders and, he hopes, win a posthumous Pulitzer. “I was
originally planning to get a film crew together and make a documentary of my
journey, but it’s so much easier to get the morbid feel of a city when you’re
all alone among the maddening crowd.”
De Rossi
claims he first got the idea of killing himself from MySpace.
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