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Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Some shirts Penfold could've sworn were for men
Married investment banker and secret transvestite Malcolm
Penfold has declared himself "completely flummoxed" by recent sartorial trends. As
male and female clothing options increasingly resemble one another, the bearded 54-year-old
has found himself alienated on both fronts. "Jesus Christ," he wrote on an
anonymous internet forum. "I swear I saw a line of fluoro kilts for sale the
other day. Where am I supposed to wear them? In public, or in the shameful privacy
of my own bathroom while the missus is asleep?"
Penfold first realised he was out of his depth while browsing
in a David Jones store far from his home or workplace. "A salesgirl came over
to ask if I needed assistance, and I prepared my usual excuse of ‘looking for
something for the wife'. I was totally thrown when she said the blouse I was
holding really suited my complexion. That's when I realised I was in the men's
section."
Surprisingly, Penfold has received little support from his
female counterparts in transvestisism. "We've been putting up with the androgynous
look problem for years," said breast-binder Natalie ‘Nat' Jameson. "I've been
able to wear a full suit and tie without anyone batting an eyelid since the early 1980s. How am I
supposed to challenge socially constructed gender norms and defy Deuteronomy
22:5 under these conditions?"
The drag queen community has also been vocal in condemning
these fashion trends. "Every time you see a skinny boy walking down the street in skin-tight
purple jeans, it's taking food out of my family's mouths," female impersonator Priscilla
Princess said. "No-one wants to pay
to see me mime to ABBA in a sequined frock and feather boa when men are wearing
hot pink singlets in public. The whole thing's a travesty. Literally."
But the couture industry is unrepentant. "Men like Malcolm
should be down on their stockinged knees thanking us," said bolero designer Jo
Mulan. "Now they can explore their sordid, sublimated desires in full view of friends
and family without being seen as sexually deviant."
"We've levelled
the playing field for gender confusion," he claimed. "And all it took was forcing all men to wear girly clothes."
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion shane July 25th, 2008 - 11:39 PMI learnt more about the politics of cross-dressing and transvestisism than I ever cared to in the research of this article. Then blithely ignored all the recommended terminology.
Goddamn, blokes who wear frocks take themselves seriously...
-Shane "Genderfuck" Cubis
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Mez July 26th, 2008 - 6:52 AM"We've levelled the playing field for gender confusion," he said. "And all it took was forcing all men to wear girly clothes."
Good one, Shane.
Has anyone ever told you that you deserve a Wikipedia entry?
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Erubadhriel July 26th, 2008 - 6:56 AMyou just love to keep pouring salt into that wound, don't you mez?
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Mez July 26th, 2008 - 6:58 AM*stops rubbing salt for a moment*
Why yes, Eru, I do.
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Erubadhriel July 26th, 2008 - 6:59 AM
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Lexii- July 26th, 2008 - 11:16 AM
Has anyone ever told you that you deserve a Wikipedia entry?
Aw, Mez, he obviously isn't the type for such tacky self promotion as creating a wiki for himself...or posting the first 2 replies to his own article...
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion shane July 27th, 2008 - 5:25 AMHey, I was just trying to get some discussion happening.
Your jerkhood will be reflected in my wikipedia entry on this discussion. I hope you're all aware of that.
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Alarm Duck of Awesomeness July 27th, 2008 - 5:27 AMOh noes...I'll look bad on wiki for 15 seconds before you get deleted again...
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion Fashion Zombies! July 27th, 2008 - 7:31 AM
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion hammerondaridiculous July 29th, 2008 - 11:11 PM
Re: [Article]Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion hammerondaridiculous August 5th, 2008 - 11:38 PMThere's not much chance of seeing me in a Dress Mez. Just the sight of me in budgie smugglers is enough to send people screaming from the beach.
(Though I do prefer to call them 'Galah Smugglers' - as the item being smuggled is much larger than a budgie, pink in colour, & fetches a higher price on the market)
Aren't dressed crosses called scarecrows anymore?
Or do you now call scarecrows 'Androgynous avian deflection devices', just to be politically correct
"We've levelled the playing field for gender confusion," he said. "And all it took was forcing all men to wear girly clothes." 
