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Hackers infect Microsoft computers with mysterious Windows virus

[Edition 30] SEATTLE, Thursday: Shame-faced workers at Microsoft admitted today that hackers had succeeded in penetrating their network’s defences and had installed a sophisticated virus on the Apple Macintosh machines used across the software giant’s operations.

[Edition 30] SEATTLE, Thursday: Shame-faced workers at Microsoft admitted today that hackers had succeeded in penetrating their network’s defences and had installed a sophisticated virus on the Apple Macintosh machines used across the software giant’s operations.

“It’s a horrible virus called Windows” said one network security specialist at the company, “We think it’s called that because it makes you want to jump out of one”.

“It taunts you with this little box saying ‘Start’ in the bottom left hand corner, and when you click on it, the screen goes blue and the computer crashes.”

Another employee said the virus had made him extremely upset since it was installed on his computer a week ago. “Every few minutes it flashes up a little note saying ‘Warning, system is out of memory resources’. Now I’m the one who’s highly unstable,” he said.
The virus also seems to be capable of mutating. “The latest version seems to be called Windows Me,” said one insider. “I don’t want to windows anybody, thanks very much. It’s an awful experience to put someone through.”

Microsoft’s CEO, Bill Gates, said he could not understand the reason behind the attacks and reiterated that he just wants to make the world a better place.