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SHOCK AT NORTH INDIAN DINER: Man chooses three dishes without picking Butter Chicken

[Edition 45] SYDNEY, Tuesday: Residents in the Sydney suburb of Newtown were shocked this week after local Michael Fowler bought a take away dinner from the Newtown North Indian Diner and selected three dishes (two meat and one veg) without opting for butter chicken.

A bemused Gupta sighs and butters up some more chicken

[Edition 45] NEWTOWN, Tuesday: Residents in the Sydney suburb Newtown were shocked this week after local Michael Fowler bought a take away dinner from the Newtown North Indian Diner and selected three dishes (two meat and one veg) without opting for butter chicken. The shock decision signaled the start of what other patrons described as a bizarre shopping spree. Fowler stunned customers by asking for more rice to fill out his take-away container “so I don’t get too much meat” and successfully waiting for his order without succumbing to the urge to buy a samosa.

Fowler’s controversial exclusion of butter chicken selection caused havoc for Diner staff, who took several attempts to fill a take-away container without automatically adding the universally popular dish. “We just assumed it was a mistake,” said Home Diner owner Vijay Gupta, “It’s the first we’ve had someone not order it.” Gupta says he sells ten times more butter chicken than any other dish in the Diner.

Although he maintains a bain marie full of different dishes, most are just for show. “Of course there’s not actually an Indian dish called Mixed Dhal. We know that no-one in the right mind would eat a dish that’s looks like that ? it’s just lumpy leftover glutinous muck we use to fill up the last couple of trays. We know people are here for the butter chicken.”

The President of the Australian Association of North Indian Diners, which has over a million members (or approximately one Indian Home Diner per twenty Australians), said he deplored Mr Fowler’s purchasing decision. “The whole Diner system assumes people really only want to eat butter chicken. That’s why we introduced the three-flavour rule in 1983 after the great butter chicken shortage of ’82.”

But Fowler defended his decision earlier this week, saying he actually prefers Beef Vindaloo and Lamb Rogan Josh. Some commentators accepted his account, but Mr Fowler’s credibility suffered a mortal blow on Friday when he claimed he “actually wanted a vegetarian dish” as his third choice.