How do I get technical support? 

Oh dear, there may be the odd teething problem. If so, just send us an email via the app support page or via the email address listed on the app's "About" page.

Why is the app only available on the iPhone OS platform, and not on Symbian/Android/Blackberry/my old Nokia 5110?

Indisputably, Apple's app store is the biggest around, with over a million iPhone OS devices in Australia. We've focussed our efforts where they were most likely to reach the largest possible audience of people who can be offended. And to be honest, most of us are iPhone-owning tossers.

If this app goes well, we'll develop apps for other platforms, and potentially introduce a way of making the content available behind a paywall on our website too (great idea Rupert!)

What if I want to share a story/video I like with my friend?

It's easier for free, non-subscription apps like the communist collective at the ABC to do this. We're trying to think of a smart way to introduce it though ... when that fails, we'll outsource it to clever people in India. But we'll get it done, as Kevin Rudd would say, "in due season."

Your iPad app is pretty basic, isn't it? Why doesn't it have lots of tricky slidey features?

Yes, we know – we're in the process of making it a whole lot slicker. Hang in there, early adopting tigers.

What happens when my subscriptions runs out?

You'll love our hilarious content so much that you'll pay for a renewal! We hope. Otherwise, when your subscription runs out, you'll get to access some of the news articles, galleries and features, but no newsbar or video. It'll be like accessing the chaser.com.au website, only with more content and a bit niftier. 

What are the push notifications used for?

Primarily for sending up-to-the-minute headlines direct to your device. To disable them, just go to Settings > Notifications on your device.

Why is the app restricted to 17+?

Apple insisted. It may have had something to do with the article about blowjobs in the demo version of the app.

Why do I have to pay to access your content?

Unbelievable as this may seem, it actually takes a lot of time and effort to maintain the app. If we didn't charge for it, we'd have to stop making it – and focus instead on the next stage of our careers, as male models. We've tried to keep the prices reasonable though - it's less than a cup of coffee, both in price and stimulation. If you don't like it, we're as sorry as insincere heartless bastards can be.