Track star Jana Pittman put aside her feud with arch-rival Tamsyn Lewis after the pair combined to win the 4x400m relay for Australia. Lewis mounted a protest on a technicality that saw England stripped of their gold, and a delighted Pittman and Lewis promised that from now on, their sniping and poor sportsmanship would be directed exclusively at other countries.

“I’ve said before that Tamsyn Lewis’ whinging undermined the unity of our team,” Pittman said. “But I didn’t realise it could undermine an opposing team as well. I’ll never complain about her again now that she’s whinged us a gold medal.” 

“Jana and I have come to realise that in the end, we’re on the same team, and as the Games slogan says, we’re united by the moment,” Lewis said. “Except in our individual races, of course, where I’m going to crucify that belly-button-ringed bitch.” 

Pittman herself was left without a reason to complain for the first time in her illustrious whinging career earlier in the Games, when she won the 400m hurdles. Even Pittman was surprised by the enthusiastic response from the crowd after her medal. But a number of supporters later explained they were still cheering the controversial runner’s announcement earlier in the week that she might leave Australia.  

The runner later admitted that she could have no complaints as long as she was winning, but promised she’d return to her petulant best when racing against non-Commonwealth competition.

 

 

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