Friday, July 30, 2010
   
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‘Jonestown', Jones out now

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Jones dressed for a social outing
Chris Masters' controversial book Jonestown has outed the broadcaster Alan Jones as a homosexual. Many have argued that the writer should not have exposed Jones' private life, but Masters defends his decision. "It is crucial to understanding the motivations of Jones," said Masters. "And even more crucial to shifting books off the shelves."

The book discusses Jones' time as a teacher, claiming that he would watch young boys in the shower and rub their injuries. But Jones' supporters have argued that this was simply part of the standard private school curriculum.

Prime Minister John Howard, a close friend of Jones', said he didn't believe a person's sexuality was of any relevance unless Bill Heffernan wanted to expose it. "But for the record, I would be happy for Jones to be in a fulfilling homosexual relationship if it meant he wrote me less letters," he added.

It is too early to say whether Jones' conservative audience will stand by him, but one elderly listener has announced she intended to remain loyal. "I was worried about this because I'm a Christian," said Doris Kelly, 74, of Bella Vista. "But I asked my priest, and he said that you shouldn't hate someone just because their position made it impossible for them to admit their homosexuality."

{sidebar id=1}Many who have read the book cannot understand what the fuss is about. "I'm surprised Jones is angry about his homosexuality being exposed. I thought it was his only endearing feature," one commentator said. "Without that, he would just be a greedy, power-hungry weirdo staring at kids in the shower."

Strong sales of the book in its first week have already shown that the ABC's decision not to print the book can not be commercially justified. Managing Director Mark Scott admitted that the real reason the ABC pulled out was because of their new anti-bias rules.

"If we had printed Jonestown, we would have had to have print a book that was equally complimentary of Jones," said Scott. "And our researchers just couldn't find anything worth more than a one page flyer."

 

 



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