LATEST
POPULAR
HOWARD DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: Border patrol stepped up

[Edition 49] SYDNEY, Tuesday: Prime Minister John Howard revealed his Christmas wish list today, admitting that he’s still holding out hope Australia may have a white Christmas.

Santa Howard … now using Pacific Islands to decide who is naughty and who is nice

[Edition 49] SYDNEY, Tuesday: Prime Minister John Howard revealed his Christmas wish list today, admitting that he’s still holding out hope Australia may have a white Christmas.

“The last election means that there has never been a better atmposphere for a white Christmas,” said Howard.

Experts said that Australia’s position in the southern hempisphere made this unlikely, but the Prime Minister claimed that the proximity to Pacific Islands actually made it more likely.

Howard said that he was dreaming of a white Christmas “just like the ones I used to know.” He said that he remembered many white Christmases under Robert Menzies, and even complemented Arthur Calwell for his White Australian Christmas Policy.

Howard noted that there would be no exceptions to the push for the white Christmas. He confirmed that customs would be stopping and searching Santa after reports that he may be using his sleigh to smuggle refugees into Australia. Santa will also be required to give assurances that he won’t be seeking asylum.