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IVF DEBATE: Federal Government tells lesbians: “Get fucked”

[Edition 26] MELBOURNE, Monday: The Federal Court decision to allow single women and lesbians to use infertility treatment in Victoria has been attacked by the Federal Government, the Catholic Church and by pro-family community groups.



The Minister for Health, Mr Michael Wooldridge said that “socially infertile” women would not be entitled to Medicare coverage of IVF treatment because they had a non-medical alternative “which is intercourse”. “We’re sending a clear message to lesbians: ‘Get fucked'” Mr Wooldridge said.

Lesbian family celebrates new IVF laws

[Edition 26] MELBOURNE, Monday: The Federal Court decision to allow single women and lesbians to use infertility treatment in Victoria has been attacked by the Federal Government, the Catholic Church and by pro-family community groups.

The Minister for Health, Mr Michael Wooldridge said that “socially infertile” women would not be entitled to Medicare coverage of IVF treatment because they had a non-medical alternative “which is intercourse”. “We’re sending a clear message to lesbians: ‘Get fucked'” Mr Wooldridge said.

Catholic Archbishop George Pell has also expressed his disapproval. “If single mothers can have children by themselves, children will miss out on having an absent father who forgets to call on birthdays,” he said. “There will also be no-one around to evade their alimony payments.”

Bill Muehlenberg, of the Australian Family Association, has roundly criticised the decision as a acceptance of the lesbian relationships.
“Studies show that a heterosexual family is the most rounded way to bring up a child,” said Muehlenberg. “Who will teach these children how to play football, how to burn sausages and how to get beaten to within an inch of their life if there is no father present in the home?”

Mr Muehlenberg believes that allowing a woman to become pregnant without a man goes against the natural order and years of practice.
“If a woman wants to have a child without a husband then she should have to go out and have a series of one night stands with strangers,” said Muehlenberg. “I mean it’s just disgusting that a child should find out that they were born due to some medical procedure rather than a beautiful tale of drunken shagging in some pub toilet with an anonymous stranger.”

Members of the gay male community have breathed a sigh of relief at the finding.

“It was getting to the point that every week some dyke would ask me to make an exception and impregnate her,” said Paul Markenson of Darlinghurst.

In unassociated news, stocks in Turkey Basters have plummetted.