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Non-trendy gay man had “okay time” at Mardi Gras

[Edition 34] SYDNEY, Monday: A gay American tourist is “not unhappy” that he spent the money to fly out for Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras last weekend. Gerald Otis – who has not as yet affected a camp voice and has no interest in leather pants, Bette Midler or being tidy – decided to come to Sydney to join the protest march which celebrates, among other things, the right of rich gays to have their bottoms televised annually.

Image by Fiona Katauskas

[Edition 34] SYDNEY, Monday: A gay American tourist is “not unhappy” that he spent the money to fly out for Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras last weekend. Gerald Otis – who has not as yet affected a camp voice and has no interest in leather pants, Bette Midler or being tidy – decided to come to Sydney to join the protest march which celebrates, among other things, the right of rich gays to have their bottoms televised annually.

Mr Otis refrained from showing his bottom in public throughout his entire two-week holiday, but admitted that it was an important right and was glad the Gay Rights movement had made that achievement. “It’s certainly a step in the right direction.”

“All they need to do now is push for the reduction of hatred against homosexuals in the wider community, including workplace discrimination, fertility laws, marriage rights, the age of consent, military employment and cultural acceptance of the validity of alternative sexuality, and then we’ll be able to enjoy ourselves even more,” he said.

When asked whether he found any of the parade’s participants “cute”, Mr Otis replied that he was already in a serious, respectful relationship. When pressed, Mr Otis smiled, looked embarrassed but refused to comment. Mr Otis then refused to comment on a number of related topics, including whether he had slept with anyone since arriving in Sydney, how much lube he usually uses, which position he favoured, what drugs get him off quickest, which pornographic magazines he subscribes to, whether he’s ever felched anyone, his opinion of the word poo-jabber, how he came out to his parents and whether or not he’d ever been bashed.