Text Size

Unis axe philosophy departments for failing to find answers

090718philosophydepAfter no university philosophy department successfully reached a series of funding benchmarks applicable under the latest Federal funding criteria, Australian universities will remove the subject from their curriculum next year. A study by the Australian Vice Chancellors’ Committee found that the nation’s philosophy departments had raised thousands of questions over the year, but had not succeeding in answering any of them conclusively.

“To have a 100% fail rate on your answer rate is unacceptable under our latest result-oriented guidelines,” said Ken Williams of the AVCC audit committee. “Without definitive progress to show the government, we lose funding.”

Auditors were also very critical of the failure to keep the course updated, pointing out that in many cases the philosophers were asking the same questions that have already been asked for millennia. “I can understand why some old Greeks thousands of years ago would struggle with questions like ‘Is there a God?’ or ‘What is truth?’’, Williams said. “But now that our lecturers have access to the internet, I would expect at least some conclusions to have been reached.”

Williams said that some of the former lecturers shared part of the blame for their departments’ inability to justify their funding. “For instance, when we asked the ANU Philosophy Department why it should continue to exist, its staff merely asked us how we knew any of us existed.”

“Well, at least that’s one philosophical conundrum that’s been answered,” he commented. “As of now, they don’t exist.”

The AVCC audit also put other Departments on notice that they needed to produce more concrete results to justify their position in modern universities. “We are funding our English Departments to the tune of millions of a year, yet we find now that most students entering the English Department can already speak English,” Williams said. “We’d be better off redirecting that money to the Business faculty, which actually succeeds in teaching English to thousands of overseas students each year.”

Where formerly they pondered many of the mysteries of the universe, an innovative industry partnership will instead redirect current philosophy students towards seeking definitive answers to only one overarching question: “Would you like fries with that?”

56 Comments

Feed
  1. The latest Step this Way newsletter, contains all the latest news from MBT in Australia. Articles include... in our store,and you can buy mbt lami now available at one of the world's most famous department stores - Harrods of London. MBT shoes will feature at the NSW Nurses Association 61st Annual Conference at the AJC Randwick in July 2010.
  2. The newest version of cheap air max are available now.Welcome to see our special air max 90 and Air Max 360.They are your must-have air max.Nike Air Max 360
    Nike Air Max 2003
    Nike Air Max 89
    Nike Air Max 90
    Nike Air Max 91
    Nike Air Max 95
    Nike Air Max 97
  3. The newest version of cheap air max are available now.Welcome to see our special air max 90 and Air Max 360.They are your must-have air max.Nike Air Max 360
    Nike Air Max 2003
    Nike Air Max 89
    Nike Air Max 90
    Nike Air Max 91
    Nike Air Max 95
    Nike Air Max 97
  4. Obviously a good bridesmaid dresseswedding venue will suggest times to you, they'll know how long each stage of the day will bridesmaid dresstake. Ensure you can discuss the day's timetable, agree when the ceremony will start (you'll also wedding invitationsneed to approve that time with the registrar), plan how long the photos will take, agree the start wedding invitationstime of the meal, decide what time to invite the evening wedding guests, and when the cutting of the cake and first dance starcraft cd keywill take place.
  5. discount air max
    nike air max plus
    nike air max solas
    nike free 5.0
    cheap women nike airmax
    discount air max 90
    discount air max 95
    nike air max uk
    nike air max classic bw
    cheap nike air max ltd
  6. cheap ed hardy boots
    cheap ed hardy t-shirts
    cheap ed hardy swimwear
    mens ed hardy jeans
    cheap ed hardy suit
    cheap ed hardy belt
    cheap ed hardy sunglass
    cheap paco chicano tees
    womens paco chicano tees
    cheap christian audigier clothing
    cheap christian audigier t-shirts
    cheap christian audigier jeans
    womens ed hardy jeans
    christian audigier t-shirts
    cheap christian audigier swimwear

    ed hardy.se
    ed hardy.no
    ed hardy.au
    ed hardy.com.au
    ed hardy.jp
    ed hardy.fr
    ed hardy.pl
    ed hardy.ru
    ed hardy.it
    ed hardy.dk

Add Comment

Best man speech to include bawdy gags

Latest Events

Chaser store

Follow The Chaser on...

Facebook Twitter