News

Berlusconi seeks "urgent summit" with Megan Fox

Thursday, 19 November 2009 16:18

09119berlusconi120 Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has created a firestorm of controversy by demanding "some face time" with screen siren Megan Fox. "We must improve Italo-Megan Fox relations at once," Berlusconi announced to a parliament consisting largely of ex-Playmates. "Italy cannot afford to lapse into a Cold War with one who has such dangerous curves."

1985 Peter Garrett goes back to the future to prevent 2009 Peter Garrett

Thursday, 05 November 2009 14:16

091105garrett120 Warned of the future demise of his environmental credentials by a wild-eyed Greens Senator in a converted-hybrid DeLorean, the 1985 Peter Garrett has traversed the space-time continuum to stop his future self abandoning his environmental principles.

New Prius model runs on owner's self-righteousness

Tuesday, 03 November 2009 21:17

091104pious120 Toyota has unveiled a new Prius model that looks set to revolutionise the car industry, powering the sustainable cars with the self-righteousness of their owners. The prototype, nicknamed the Toyota Pious, uses a unique hybrid engine that allows the car to go on and on whenever the driver does.

New Zealand moves 30cm closer to Australia, applies for dole

Tuesday, 04 August 2009 23:27

090804sheep_120

A recent earthquake has shifted New Zealand 30cm closer to Australia, the second phase of a long-term plan to connect the two islands and their social security systems. The first phase of the plan, where New Zealanders were sent to Australia to seek welfare assistance one by one, has given way to a more expansive, nation-based dole bludging plan.

Kyle's apology for lie detector stunt fails lie detector

Tuesday, 04 August 2009 12:50

090804kylejackie120 Kyle Sandilands has apologised for a segment where he and Jackie O hooked a 14-year-old to a lie detector to ask about her sex life. "I'm really sorry that we didn't realise what she'd been through," Sandilands said. "If we had, we would have broadcast her rape counselling session instead. It would have made much better radio."