Federal Treasurer furious with millennial for not being 55 yet
"I can't believe she doesn't own her own house and have at least one negatively geared investment property."
“Norway happiest country in the world” says bullshit survey
A worldwide study released today reported that a country where sunlight is seasonal and their greatest delicacy is rotten fish, is apparently the happiest in the world
Dunlop to corner derro beach rat market with new pre-holed Volleys
They are also introducing a limited edition model with bindi-eyes pre attached to the laces
Dad keeping every single key he ever used on key ring
"Every key here is important," said Barry, "I just need to remember what they all do."
Shifty bloke slows down when every Holden Commodore is near
Darren just wanted to be sure the Commodore's antennas were regular size
‘Gay marriage is none of your business’, straight man tells gay CEO
"This is typical of gays, wanting to force their agenda about what they want to do with their own lives, onto straight people. They should leave that up to straight people. We're the experts at that."
Lump of coal now frontrunner for Liberal Party leadership
"He's the most human of all the frontbencher's right now"
Voice recognition software improves to 40% accuracy
Apple CEO Tom Cock said the implobment was ferntasic
Turnbull cut-price power plan to provide slower electricity
Following the success of his NBN plan, Malcolm Turnbull has unveiled plans to take on the electricity market. Under the new scheme, he would take the existing Snowy Rivers Hydro-Electricity scheme, and then inexplicably ruin it
Coopers recall bottles featuring bible quotes condemning alcohol
"As Christians it is our duty to selectively follow the teachings of God"