Shorten calls for Federal ICAC while furiously shredding papers from his briefcase
Meanwhile every Labor MP from NSW resigned for family reasons
Triple J Hosts Bravely Declare Next Song a “Real Banger”
"Coming up after the break we've got an absolute banger by Sufjan Stevens."
“There’s no money for train drivers” tweets MP from chauffeured government car
"If we gave train drivers the pay rise they wanted, we might be forced to cut back on essentials like my own personal driver."
“Bitcoin is obviously a bubble” claims Boomer with 5 investment properties
"Only a fool couldn't see that!"
NZ PM Jacinda Ardern pregnant: Trump claims he’s more pregnant than her
"Actually," he told reporters, "I was pregnant way before her. I've been pregnant for months."
Global warming sole cause of summer heat says moron
"I hate being so sweaty all the time! That's why I don't do any exercise," Reggie complained.
Health insurers justify $150 increase – “We only made a billion dollars last year”
"You could barely afford to put lobster on the table every night for that kind of money"
PricewaterhouseCoopers mistakenly tells Apple it must pay tax
In an absurd stuff-up, accountants at the firm were preparing two tax returns. One was for a low-wage retail worker, Paul Hutchins, and one was for the global multinational conglomerate
NBN says video apologising for slow speeds should be finished uploading by mid-2019
The NBN announced this morning it had finally managed to load the website, which measures internet speeds, and discovered that its speed wasn’t
Kangaroo on Harbour Bridge breaks speed record for object travelling in bus lane
"At one point it almost breached 5km/h"