Thank you, thank you so much for joining the Tea Party. And thank you so much for paying my $25,000,000 fee for a video message. It’s a small price to pay for Freedom! Do you love Freedom? If you love Freedom give yourself a big round of applause! Just like the Founding Fathers and Ronald Reagan intended! Woo!
The marauding armies of Genghis Khan have encountered their first strong opposition, being stopped at the border by the customs officers of the neighbouring Tangut province. “We forgot to apply for a visa 90 days before our invasion,” said one disappointed General in Khan’s army. “So we will have to wait here and pay extra for an expedited visa.” Continue reading Marauding Mongols slowed by complex visa requirements
Searchers say they have found controversial historian Keith Windschuttle living on a sparsely populated atoll in the Pacific Ocean, apparently unaware that the culture war has been finished for years. While they are yet to contact the scholar directly, his dishevelled form has been spotted in heavy jungle, and rescue parties have found apparent attempts to construct a rudimentary think-tank. Survival experts say his food supplies have run out, and he may be surviving on pure spite. Continue reading Keith Windschuttle found still fighting culture war on remote tropical island
With precious few months to go before summer, Wollongong resident Scott Barton has instituted a health regime to reduce his weight. “I’ve heard all these stories about blokes hitting the gym too hard and having heart attacks,” he said. “So I’ve decided to focus on diet – from now on, I’ll be eating Subway instead of Macca’s and snacking on Pizza Shapes between meals.” Continue reading Man goes on low-carb beer diet
A two-year-old Indonesian boy, Ardi Rizal, made headlines around the world when it was revealed that he smoked up to 40 cigarettes a day. But it’s now been revealed that the child has not cut out his cigarette consumption, only his willingness to pay for them. Continue reading Smoking toddler now just bumming off mates
Serial sleaze Kevin Thornton has experimented with cutting-edge social media to procure late night sex, using Twitter instead of his traditional booty call or booty SMS. Thornton, who is 29 and single, sent out the tweet asking for sex to his 43 followers towards the end of a heavy boozing session. He agreed the experiment was not undertaken in ideal conditions, occurring shortly after he vomited in a 24 hour McDonald’s.
A decade of democracy. A decade of Chaser election shows. This box set features The Chaser’s election series The Election Chaser (2001), The Chaser Decides (2004 and 2007) and Yes We Canberra (2010). The Election Chaser from 2001 is The Chaser’s very first television series. The 2001, 2004 and 2007 series have never been released on DVD before. It’s your chance to own your own piece of alternative Australian political history.
Order now from The Chaser Store
The star of the Doctor Who series, Dalek No. 3, says his career has suffered due to his continued typecasting as an extraterrestrial robot. The gripes are aired in his new autobiography Yes, I Can Climb Stairs, which was launched by Tom Baker on Thursday night.
This year the Chaser team are back in print where they belong, and more unpalatable than ever before. They’ve put aside the inconvenience of all that stage and television tomfoolery to serve up another slice of topical ridiculousness straight from Australian satire’s finest sweatshop. Like its predecessors, The Chaser Annual 2010 will once again occupy the team’s traditional position right beside the nation’s toilets. Continue reading The Chaser Annual 2010 out now
Fresh from their success in lowering the standards of Australian TV, The Chaser team are now aiming to reduce the quality of public talks and discussion, with a brand new live event.
The Empty Vessel is a freewheeling talkfest presented by a semi-random selection people from the Chaser team in a relaxed and intoxicating (ie fully licensed) atmosphere.
We’re very pleased to be using FBi Radio’s awesome new live venue experiment, FBi Social, as a platform to develop The Empty Vessel in the lead-up to the Sydney Writers’ Festival.
The Empty Vessel will be filled with different and unexpected things each night, but will always feature:
- special guests
- lively and/or defamatory discussion
- hardcore Q&A
- great yarns and great music from FBi’s very own Jack Shit.
For guest information or to buy tickets, visit our Empty Vessel page.
OUR APP IS CURRENTLY ON SPECIAL – JUST $1.19 IN AUSTRALIA!
Now, for the first time, iPhone owners can view The Chaser’s content anywhere, and make a call to talkback radio to complain about it, all from the same device! With this app from the infamous Australian comedy group, you can get our e xclusive news articles and video content at a price that’s even lower than our morals. Note that some content requires an ongoing subscription – the app purchase includes 30 days’ full access.
All purchasers will receive ongoing access to the following whether they’re subscribers or not:
- up-to-the-minute NEWS articles that are to truth and accuracy what Fox News is to fairness and balance [limited]
- classic VIDEO from The Chaser’s award-losing and criminal-record-winning tv shows [limited]
- regular FEATURES written by the world’s finest comedy writers, or alternatively whoever happen to be in The Chaser office at the time [limited]
- up to the minute HEADLINES delivered via push notification
- topical CARTOONS from our stable of genius cartoonists
- photo GALLERIES from behind the scenes of The Chaser’s TV and stage productions
- information about Chaser EVENTS and other shenanigans
- handy access to The Chaser’s official TWITTER FEED
Active subscribers receive access to the following additional material:
- Full access to all NEWS STORIES, including exclusive, subscriber-only material
- Full access to all VIDEO and AUDIO, including exclusive new material recorded specially for the app, as well as bonus materials from our TV shows
- the world’s first iPhone NEWSBAR which runs around the clock, or until your battery dies
Extending your subscription another 30 days will cost the same as the app’s initial price. Longer renewals are even cheaper.
Ever since we started our original newspaper in 1999, The Chaser’s mission statement has been “Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence”. Now, for the first time, we deliver you iMediocrity in a world of iExcellence. The Chaser App. Buy now. Regret later.
Prime Minister Julia Gillard has attempted to appeal to both left and right in the refugee debate by playing a dog whistle and a bongo drum at the same time. Speaking at the Lowy Institute, she outlined a plan to process refugees in East Timor without demonising them in the process. “Now is not the time to blame all our ills on refugees,” she said. “That time will be slightly closer to the election.”
It’s the World Cup in South Africa, and we’ve got the drinking game for you! To promote responsible drinking, though, we are pleased to offer you two levels of drinking game. Please choose whichever best matches your intended level of inebriation.
Socceroos coach Pim Verbeek has hit back at criticism of his decision to field a team with no strikers for the team’s 4-0 World Cup loss to Germany. The Socceroos’ game coincided with the announcement of Queen’s Birthday Honours for people who have made a significant contribution to Australia. There were no Socceroos on the list, although Pim Verbeek has received a medal for services to German football.
Continue reading “Greatest moral challenge of our generation” now Rudd’s backflips
It seemed so impressive during Steve Jobs’ keynote. But now that you’ve got Apple’s revolutionary, magical shiny device in your hands, you’re no doubt wondering what you can actually do with it. That’s where this guide comes in.
The Chaser’s failed newspaper has now been reinvented as a failed iPhone app! It includes a special, fancy iPad-sized version too. With exclusive content not availabile on this site.
The Chaser App for iPhone, iPod touch and iPad
Available now from the App Store
- the world’s first iPhone NEWSBAR which runs around the clock, or until your battery dies*
- up-to-the-minute NEWS articles that are to truth and accuracy what Fox News is to fairness and balance
- classic VIDEO and AUDIO from The Chaser’s award-losing and criminal-record-winning tv shows, plus exclusive new video commentaries and updates*
- regular FEATURES written by the world’s finest comedy writers, or alternatively whoever happen to be in The Chaser office at the time
- topical CARTOONS from our stable of genius cartoonists
- photo GALLERIES revealing all the sordid behind-the-scenes secrets of The Chaser team
- classic FRONT COVERS from The Chaser newspaper
- up to the minute HEADLINES delivered via push notification*
The Blow Parade: The complete album out now!
“Laugh-out-loud radio comedy” – The Age
“Very funny show – great voices and excellent production” – Graeme Garden
The complete series of THE BLOW PARADE is now yours to own, and it comes with plenty of bonus material. Created by Chris Taylor, Andrew Hansen and Craig Schuftan, this musical comedy guides us through the making of five classic albums from yesteryear – from bands you’ve probably never heard of because they don’t actually exist.
THE BLOW PARADE album is available in two formats:
CD. The 2-disc set contains all 5 episodes of the series, as well as 6 full-length songs not heard in the program itself. It comes with a colour booklet brimming with photos, deleted script pages, and brand new articles written by Captain Blow and Armando Hirsch. In stores around Australia now, or order it here.
iTunes Store download. Features all the episodes and bonus songs from the CD release, PLUS an entire bonus disc of songs narrated by Captain Blow! Grab it here.