News
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General News
Morrison wishes people understood how stressful it is to be the Finance Minister, Home Affairs Minister, Minister for Social Services and Health Minister
Former Ministers Scott Morrison has called for sympathy for mental health issues after revealing all the lies he told as PM gave him anxiety. “Mental health is so important if you’re white,” he stated solemnly at a press conference. “Anyone you know could secretly be five cabinet ministers and that sort of thing takes a…
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News
Bigamist to appear in every episode of ‘Married at First Sight’
“Sean’s unique life experiences will really add to the show,” said executive producer Aaron Jones, “as well as cutting down on camera and travel costs.” “Some people may argue his inclusion is an insult to the sanctity of marriage – and indeed the common good of all humanity – but hey, so is this whole…
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News
Owners of Big Banana disappointed it hasn’t been named as a terror target
“What’s the Taj Mahal got that we don’t?”
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General News
HR woman single-handedly lowering staff morale
Efforts to boost productivity and lower absenteeism only result in feigned enthusiasm and a sexual harassment law suit resulting from a ‘trust fall’ exercise gone wrong.
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World
FBI foiled as criminal cleverly enters private mode on browser
Gone without a trace, the Feds have been left scrambling for any signs of Harrington’s possibly illegal activities.
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General News
Mike Pence booed because he somehow got tickets to Hamilton
While the next available ticket to see Hamilton on Broadway is in 2018, it seems being VP Elect has some benefits.
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World
Alec Baldwin’s impression of Donald Trump is polling higher than Hillary Clinton
The series of Saturday Night Live sketches were so well received that Donald “Baldwin” Trump is now beating Hillary Clinton in a nationwide poll.
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World
Hillary Clinton faces further scrutiny for not using symbols and numbers in her Hotmail password
The FBI has reason to believe that Secretary Clinton not only had a registered Hotmail account, but her password strength was Weak to Moderate.
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World
Physiotherapists applaud Kim Jong-Un’s tough stance against bad posture
The World Physiotherapy Association (WPA) has applauded Kim Jong-Un and his “brave fight against back posture” following the North Korean President’s execution of his Health Minister for slouching during his speech. A spokesperson for the WPA told reporters, “We’ve been warning people about the dangers of bad posture for years, we’re just really glad we’re…