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“Faked weapons finds will back-up faked intelligence” – Blair

[Edition 75] LONDON, Monday – Tony Blair has today hit back at intelligence community leaks suggesting he deceived the public over weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. “These rogue elements in the intelligence community are making unlikely claims wholly unsubstantiated by evidence – and that’s our job” said a visibly angry Blair.

Tony Blair insists that only the most up to date intelligence was used to compile the UK’s reports on Iraq

[Edition 75] LONDON, Monday – Tony Blair has today hit back at intelligence community leaks suggesting he deceived the public over weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

“These rogue elements in the intelligence community are making unlikely claims wholly unsubstantiated by evidence – and that’s our job” said a visibly angry Blair. The Prime Minister said that the phone logs and memos backing MI6 claims were not strong enough support for criticism of Downing Street., suggesting material cobbled together from conflicting sources and plagiarized from an outdated student thesis would be more appropriate.

In the speech, Mr Blair also repeated his call for patience in waiting for WMDs to be found. “I can assure these weapons will be found, and I can assure you because we are currently in the process of fabricating these finds. It is utterly irresponsible of MI6 to undermine these claims, when it is that very agency which should be endeavouring to provide bogus physical proof of these faked claims. They’re really good at it, they can even make paper look old by putting coffee on it.”

A concession was made that claims Saddam could attack Britain in 45 minutes now looked flawed, but Mr Blair defended his motives. “At the time, we thought we’d have time to fabricate an entire rapid weapons deployment infrastructure, but the war was over so quickly we just haven’t had a chance” said Mr Blair, echoing US claims that Coalition was a victim of its own success.

“It’s astonishing – and upsetting, that MI5 and MI6 are accusing me and my Government of lying. And it is all the more upsetting because the accusations are true.”