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Fashion Week shock: half-naked anorexics in again this season

If this year’s Mercedes Australian Fashion Week is any guide, wafer-thin adolescents with see-through tops, tiny diaphanous panties and protuberant nipples are among the items we can expect to see on the streets this season.

Revealing fashions have dominated for a record 32nd successive year

If this year’s Mercedes Australian Fashion Week is any guide, wafer-thin adolescents with see-through tops, tiny diaphanous panties and protuberant nipples are among the items we can expect to see on the streets this season. The style has been welcomed by anorexics, heroin addicts and AIDS patients, although it has proven less popular with women who actually look normal.

The look has taken by surprise a number of fashion editors who predicted that the hot themes for 2005 would be ‘dowdy’, ‘concealing’ and ‘able to be worn in public’. “Fashion Week is always full of surprises, one top editor said. “We keep predicting that this might be the year for ordinary-sized models wearing clothes that conceal at least some of the nipple, but again Australia’s top designers have dared to think outside the square.”

The style has proven most popular of all with fashion editors, photographers and geeky webmasters alike, as it allows them to print photos of beautiful naked women without being considered pornographic. “We haven’t gotten traffic like this since our in-depth exclusive investigation into Miss Universe accidentally baring her ass at that shopping centre,” a representative of smh.com.au said.

The biggest star at this year’s Fashion Week was Jade Jagger, who has pioneered this year’s hottest style, ‘hippy de luxe’. “The great thing about this look is that you can spend an absolute fortune on your appearance and still look like a complete bum,” Jagger enthused. “I got the idea from my dad, Mick.”

Jagger says that she has developed a strong affinity with hippies since she began working as a model and devoting her time to starving, lazing around and taking enormous amounts of drugs.

Mercedes says it is delighted to once again be associated with Fashion Week. “This is the perfect sponsorship for us. Despite all the money we spend promoting our image, everyone views us as safe and boring, and vastly inferior to our Italian competitors,” a Mercedes spokesman said. “Just like Australian fashion.”